I never imagined that I would become the type of woman who gets married at a young age.
If that sounds judgmental and presumptuous, it’s true. I used to think it was judgmental and presumptuous of college girls who wore engagement rings and people who made lifelong vows before their 25th birthday. My accurate opinion would probably be to roll my eyes and give a slightly disgusted look and say, “Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss”.
And that is the majority opinion in this country and for the last 10 years.
While it was once common and expected (and still is in some subcultures) for young women to settle down and get married before the ink on their high school diplomas was dry, mainstream society has changed significantly. Did.
Young wives are widely considered to be old-fashioned, anti-feminist, hyper-religious, ignorant, inexperienced, and doomed to divorce. It usually combines all of the above.
This new social stereotype is present everywhere, from whispered gossip to television plots. A “smart and educated young woman” knows better.
But as life happens, I willingly signed the marriage certificate in 2008, eight months pregnant. I was 22 years old.
Six years later, I have not only changed my perspective; I have grown and matured in many ways, mostly because of my marriage and the events surrounding it. While it’s true that marriage is difficult, and marrying young brings unique obstacles, there are also lesser-known perks of marrying and coming of age at roughly the same time.
Here are the 10 main benefits of getting married young:
1. We grew up together
My husband is 30 years old, but I remember when he was 18. I remember him fresh out of high school, living with a roommate and delivering pizza.
We’ve been together through college classes, internships, big moves, small moves, gray hair, and body changes. We’ve watched each other launch our careers and tackle goals we once dreamed of with thrift store furniture in a past-life atmosphere.
We grew up together and we owe it to each other. I’m proud of the man he has become and I know he feels the same pride and respect for me. we have come a long way. It’s great for someone to witness progress.
2. Less luggage
We both have separate pasts. We didn’t “save ourselves” for marriage or have a high school sweetheart story.
But in a way, we did.
He’s my first and only adult relationship, so all of my adult intimacy, like sharing an apartment and pets and memorable travel adventures, is something I’ve only shared with him.
I didn’t spend most of my life with anyone else. How could you? By the time I was 20, I was out of the market. All of our luggage will be searched together.
3. Combining lives is relatively easy
In many ways, it was very easy to put our lives together. Our adult lives, habits, and changing patterns were not deeply established. Instead, we developed systems and rhythms as we went along.
I started my career with a new last name. He didn’t have his own uprooted lifestyle. He has no premarital sex or complications. There’s something to be said for building your life on a single foundation rather than figuring out how to integrate two separate structures.
4. We all learned a hard lesson sooner or later.
Getting married early in my adult life allowed me to cut through the delusions of Happily Ever After and romantic comedy plots long before any resentment or bitterness had settled in my heart. Marriage also offers real-world lessons about sacrifice, commitment, companionship, compromise, and unconditional love.
No matter how old we are, it’s difficult to change and grow with others, but that effort and struggle can teach us a lot. It transforms us into better versions of ourselves and gives us the opportunity to understand faith, patience, forgiveness and perseverance. It tests our limits, helps us analyze and develop a more mature perspective than the typical dating pool allows.
Young marriage is not easy, but what is important is not easy.
5. We didn’t waste money (because we didn’t have anything)
Our “wedding” cost less than $100. And it was completely accepted and understood.
6. Expectations were very low
I didn’t wait 10 years for “The One” or that magical time when the stars aligned.
If I had spent years planning and dreaming of the perfect wedding, marriage, husband, and life, I would have been sorely disappointed. Instead, I chose to move on with my life, stay in love, and stay in love.
7. We have shared every milestone and achievement
We moved from rat-infested apartments and empty bank accounts to comfortable adult lives and lives in between. Everything we accomplished, separately or together, was greeted with the familiar high-five.
8. Crazy and wild memories? We have them
The fact that my husband has all the first-person memories of me when I was 19 and all the silly, passionate memories that come with young love is something I’ll be very grateful for in middle age. Dew.
9. Looks like we’re happy now
According to the National Marriage Project’s 2013 report, “still tying”, the most satisfied 20-somethings (ages 20 to 28) are married rather than single or cohabiting.
In fact, the majority of people who reported being “very happy” in their marriage were between the ages of 24 and 26.
another study Researchers showed that couples who married young, between the ages of 22 and 25, were most likely to have healthy marriages.More research has revealed Advantages of getting married in your 20s.
10. All you have is time
Even if my marriage falls apart and we change and grow in opposite directions, there is still plenty of time in our lives to move on to new experiences. We will learn important lessons from our marriage, grow in the ways we need to, and bring that growth home with us.
On the contrary, my young marriage was able to give me more time with the one person who stayed by my side through every step and evolution and loved me through it all. He is the only one who is there at every milestone and moment and knows everything about you in the past.
At the end of the day, time is of the essence.
Michelle Horton is a freelance writer and social media specialist who founded the website Early Mama. She writes about advocacy, motherhood, and relationships.