Now, before I get into some of the reasons why dating can completely drive you crazy, I want you to remember what I live for. Being single isn’t a bad thing. Being single gives you the opportunity to meet people you’ve never met before in your life. That little comment alone should get you excited.
Maybe you’ll meet someone you can spend the rest of your life with. The problem is, finding someone you really connect with can be like looking for a needle in a haystack. Now let’s talk about all the things that make dating a pain. Maybe it will help you negotiate the crazy, wacky world of dating!
Here are 10 reasons why dating today might drive you completely crazy.
1. Exchanging numbers is not a sign he’s interested in you
That is correct. Just because he stole your phone number or gave it to you doesn’t mean he wants to see you again. It also doesn’t mean he wants to talk to you again. Why would he ask for your phone number if he’s not interested? Most of the time, it’s because he’s being polite and doesn’t want to disappoint you right then and there, or he lost interest during the first conversation and stole your number to run away.
2. The strangeness of first dates
We exchanged phone numbers, we actually arranged a date, and now we’re meeting. Now it’s getting interesting, but most of the time it’s very awkward. You want him to like you, he wants you to like him, you don’t know anything about each other, you don’t know where he’s taking you, you’re panicking , maybe you have to eat in front of him, and you don’t even know if you’re attracted to him.
Then you have to carry on the conversation, which can be a nightmare if you’re with a man who is shy or clearly completely afraid of you. Then there’s the matter of splitting the bill at dinner. I’ve said it a million times before, going out to dinner on a first date is a terrible idea. Avoid it like the plague!
3. Do you want to kiss me?
After the first date, you go home. You like him, but you don’t know if he likes you. Neither of you are actually expressing your true feelings because you’re both reading the advice to “keep it cool.”
It’s like a weird game of relationship poker. Breaking up can be awkward because no one knows what you’re really thinking. Do you want to kiss me? Do you want a hug? Do you ask him to see you again or leave it to his actions? If you kissed him, would he think it was a passport in your underwear? Will he feel rejected if you don’t invite him?
4. Text message game
Well, what do you do? Do you text him first? Are you waiting for him to email you? Once again, you both act so cool that you have no idea how he really feels. You wait for him to contact you, worried that you’ll think he’s desperate if you text him.
The problem is, he doesn’t want to seem too eager, so he’s waiting for a text from you. As a result, we ended up not texting each other, thinking the date was a failure, telling our friends, “I never really liked him anyway, and his aftershave was terrible,” and taking the next step. Proceed to All the while, you are crying inside, unable to understand why the other man “rejected you.”
5. Intimacy is scary
You and the man have finally told each other that you are interested in taking things to the next level. You will see him again. Are you wondering when to be intimate with him? If you leave it too long, he’ll lose interest and cheat, and if you leave it too soon, he’ll think you’re easy and won’t want to commit, right?
Why not try stroking it harder and see what happens? But now you’re worried that you won’t be able to complete it. No one can make you feel that way like your first boyfriend. However, he now lives in another state, is divorced, and is in a same-sex relationship with your high school teacher. Wow.
6. All your friends will become dating experts.
When you’re active in the dating scene, all of your friends suddenly want to give you dating advice about the guy you met. Suddenly all your friends know everything about dating. Even if some of you haven’t had a boyfriend since you were 17, some of you don’t like men, some of you have a loveless marriage with a cheating husband, and some of you have a boyfriend. I feel jealous and bitter because of this. Breasts better than hers.
7. Just because he’s physical doesn’t mean he’s interested in you
When a woman sleeps with a man, it’s a sign that she likes him. When a woman has an intimate relationship with a man, it is a sign that she wants to connect with him and perhaps start a relationship. When a man sleeps with a woman, it often means nothing more than he wanted to blow his load and you’re attractive to him.
Men don’t equate intimacy with love, and that’s something women unfortunately need to understand. Just because you slept together doesn’t mean he wants to date you. Some men may not even think they want to meet again.
As a man, I wish that wasn’t the case, but it is what it is. I’m not the one making the rules here!
8. From now on, you will have to invest as much money as men.
In the past, men paid for dates, which was considered old-fashioned, but I quite like that. But you women want equality, and men have given it to you in many ways. A side effect of that is that many men expect you to split the cost of the date 50-50.
Now you have to invest as much money into dating as men. Start thinking about fun, inexpensive dates.
9. You need to be vulnerable.
That is correct. If you’re going to date, you have to accept that your feelings may get hurt (and, let’s be honest, they probably will).
You have to expose yourself. You have to be open-minded and risk being disappointed by a man. That’s exactly what it is. See it as an experience. Think of dating as a journey of discovery. If a relationship doesn’t work out, don’t take it personally. Think about the lessons learned, accept the experience, and move on.
10. You may end up feeling ridiculous.
Yeah, sometimes I feel silly when I’m on a date. Please picture the scene. You arrange a date. You get dressed up, head to the venue, order some drinks, stand alone for an hour or so, and then realize you’ve made a fool of yourself.
That is correct. When you date, you’re going to be exposed to some flakes. They give you their phone number and then disappear into the cyber world, never to be seen or heard from again. Sadly, you’re going to meet a few “caspers” in your lifetime, so instead of driving yourself crazy, laugh through it.
As we all know, dating can be a hassle, but it can also be a fun, exciting, passionate, magical, enlightening, and life-changing experience. Stop worrying about when to call him, when to text him, when to be intimate with him and start enjoying the experience.
It’s time for all of us to quit the dating game and be open, authentic, and vulnerable. Then we would all enjoy love more and perhaps have better relationships.
David Wygant I’m a dating coach who has been helping men and women transform their love lives for the past 20 years. As lead writer for Ask Men and the Huffington Post, his advice has been provided across television, newspapers, and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and E!. Entertainment TV etc.