Wendy Gould
Ah, the age-old question of how to maintain sparkle, love, and intimacy in relationships.
I’m by no means a qualified relationship expert, but I can say that in the four years I’ve been with my partner, we’ve done a pretty good job of keeping the momentum of our love going.
Of course, sometimes we simply enjoy each other’s quiet intimacy, and other times we fight and get irritated, but we also make a serious effort to keep each other’s fire burning.
Four years isn’t that long in the grand scheme of the life we plan on spending together, but it’s long enough to get us out of the honeymoon phase and into real life together.
And so far, its real life has been pretty great.
Here are 10 great relationship tips to help your love last.
1. We express gratitude to each other.
The other night, after a long day at work and an hour at the gym, my boyfriend offered to make dinner while I showered and blow-dried my hair.
He knew I was tired and made me dinner to show my appreciation.
Of course, this is just one small way we show our appreciation for each other, and it goes a long way.
Sometimes gratitude happens quickly and quickly.
Maybe you’re thanking each other for helping with the housework, driving the other person to the airport, or picking up the coffee they ordered.
Sometimes it can be as simple as saying, “You’re amazing” in a text message.
2. We try new things together.
Stepping outside of each other’s comfort zones together is one of the easiest ways to foster a welcoming atmosphere of love.
Sure, it requires a lot of mental stimulation and can be quite nerve-wracking, but trying new things in pairs is one of the best ways to keep that spark alive.
For example, we recently decided to try skiing for the first time in our lives. Let’s just say there was a lot of laughter and tears during that time.
However, you don’t necessarily have to be so enthusiastic to try something new.
For example, trying a new dish together, trying a difficult recipe, or checking out a new exhibit at a local museum are all good options.
3. We encourage physical connection.
The way couples cultivate physical intimacy is very individual and diverse, but it’s still very important regardless of style.
Physical contact with each other, which includes holding hands, kissing, cuddling, and big hugs, is the main thing that distinguishes romantic relationships from other types of relationships. One of the elements, it really helps keep that shine.
We make a concerted effort to encourage the physical side of our relationship, and cuddle sessions before bed are a must.
4. We have regular dates.
During the first week of a new month, something called the “New Budget Month Dinner” is held.
It’s a standing date where you can go out together and spend your pennies on a nice dinner without feeling guilty at all.
Spending your money wisely on food is not only good for your budget, it also gives you something consistent to look forward to and gives you the opportunity to try new restaurants.
The specialness of this dinner also means that we are really focused on each other.
It is considered a sacred time. Phones are put away and conversations are purposeful and fulfilling.
5. We spend time apart.
I’m currently planning a two-week solo trip to visit a friend in Switzerland. My partner is also planning a similar solo trip with his best friend.
These solo adventures have been a part of our relationship since the beginning, and have proven to be essential to our personal well-being and romantic connection.
I admit that for some couples, living apart for that amount of time may be extreme, but we both grow by having personal experiences, and as a result, our relationship grows as well. To do.
Spending time apart might mean spending an evening or an entire Saturday doing your own thing, having dinner with friends, or spending time on personal hobbies.
We love hanging out, but alone time gives us a chance to miss each other.
It provides us with experience to talk about and knowing that the other person has a strong sense of self is very appealing.
6. We support each other’s hobbies and interests.
Your existing hobbies and passions may not overlap, but there’s still room to strengthen your bond.
For example, I am a singer in the choir of a local symphony orchestra and occasionally sing professionally.
My biggest cheerleader is my boyfriend, who always comes to every important concert or gig.
Before we met, he didn’t know much about classical music, but now when a new season of symphonies is announced, he is enthusiastic and knowledgeable about upcoming performances.
On the other hand, I’m not much of an outdoors person, but he thrives in rugged natural environments.
I’m not very good at kayaking, but of course I accepted his request and joined in on the kayaking adventure.
And of course, I’m really attached to irons and modern plumbing, but I also go camping with him.
I’m so grateful that he brings more of these outdoor experiences into my world, whether it’s a Saturday morning hike or a hard night out in the great outdoors.
7. We make time for each other.
Even when we are very busy with work and life, we still take time to connect with each other and be together.
Small moments like that, like sitting down to have dinner together before going through your to-do list, or making sure to talk on the phone for a bit while one of you is traveling, go a long way.
And once things settle down, spending time together becomes a priority.
8. We value spontaneity.
There’s something beautiful about consistency and lazy days, but a little spontaneity can ignite the fire of love.
It can be as grand as a weekend road trip somewhere beautiful, or as simple as an impromptu trip to get an ice cream cone before a walk in the park.
They help keep our relationships exciting.
9. We surprise each other.
This goes hand in hand with enjoying spontaneity.
The other day, after a little argument, I walked into the kitchen and saw a small bouquet of yellow daffodils and my favorite candy (gummy bears).
It was a sweet gesture and a reminder of how much my boyfriend loves and cares for me.
I often leave love notes in his travel bag or wallet, or buy him coffee when we go out.
These small things keep us alert and foster small but deep love.
10. We keep getting to know each other.
When we started dating, we answered the common “36 Questions to Fall in Love.” Well, we may not have been able to say “I love you” to each other in the end, but we ended up becoming very good friends.
Our deep curiosity about each other continues.
In everyday conversations, we’re both keen to understand the other person’s point of view, and we’ve even bought books that present interesting “what if” and “scale from 1 to 10” scenarios and encourage questions. .
Wendy Gould I am a freelance lifestyle reporter and brand content writer. She’s been featured on Business Insider, Brides, Real Simple, Cosmopolitan, and more.
This article was originally published at: pop sugar. Reprinted with permission from the author.