Many unhealthy emotions can arise in relationships, such as jealousy, so you may be wondering how to save a relationship that is falling apart. Emotions can cause us to have thoughts that lead us to believe that there is no hope. Jealousy in particular is a very harmful emotion for you and your partner. It’s normal to feel some jealousy in a relationship. It’s one way we show our loved ones that we love and cherish them. But like many things, a little jealousy goes a long way…and more isn’t always better.
Here are two sneaky ways jealousy can destroy your relationship.
1. “Crazy” factor
If you act out your feelings of jealousy by having angry outbursts or asking third-degree questionable questions, you may appear psychotic to your partner. The more innocent they are, the worse your actions will look on you.
Extreme jealousy is ugly and scary. The lack of trust it represents can mean the death of a relationship. Trust is one of the core things that underpins a healthy relationship. Without this, things tend to fall hard and fast, leaving only a greasy mess at the crash site.
Destructive jealousy stems from insecurity and a desire to control others. If you’ve ever expressed jealousy toward your partner or felt like your partner was jealous of you, you may recognize these common patterns.
2. Self-fulfilling prophecy
Another undesirable consequence of this level of distrust is that it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
People who are constantly under suspicion, no matter how “clean” their record is, may feel that there is no point in trying to prove their innocence. And many people’s attitude is, “If I’m going to taint my name and suffer the shame, I might as well just play the game.”
So what’s the alternative to sneaking, snooping, spying, and outright stalking?
Maybe your suspicions were caused by a change in your partner’s behavior or attitude. Or the feelings of jealousy started because you felt a little insecure or felt a distance between you and your partner.
Either way, communication is the key to resolving the issue.
In some cases, something in the relationship has already gone wrong (i.e., an affair has occurred or is currently underway). Perhaps they have become increasingly distant. You feel the need to renew and strengthen your bond with each other.
There is only one way to get to the core of the problem. We need to stop assuming the worst and stop trying to solve “mystery clues” on our own. you need to ask. If a problem exists, you can find a suitable solution to it.
Here are four ways to tame it:
1. Find the facts
Your doubts about your partner may be due to changes in his or her behavior. You need to check if they are cheating. If so, you have a bigger problem than feeling jealous. You need to think about what to do about your relationship.
You might be spying on him or obsessing over him by checking his messages, tracking his social media activities, or following him around. If so, please stop.
By not mentioning your relationship with him, you are belittling yourself. To make matters worse, this type of activity also has other drawbacks.
Whether innocent or guilty, when you are (and will be) caught, your spouse will be able to make your behavior the problem, not his own. And not the actual cause of problems in the relationship (especially if he turns out to be innocent).
2. Please discuss
A better way to approach this might be to say: “Wow. Looks like this new girl made an impression on you. I don’t like feeling that way, but it makes me kind of jealous. Are you attracted to her? I mean, seriously. Are you attracted to that?”
Now, asking a question like this puts you in a vulnerable position. However, if your spouse is innocent and understands what you are thinking and feeling, he has a chance to answer honestly and reassure you.
Even if your worst suspicions are confirmed and you find out that your spouse or boyfriend has gone astray, being jealous is a secondary issue. The first problem is deciding what to do with the relationship.
Will you stay or go?
3. Set limits
Another aspect of good communication in relationships is managing expectations. It’s up to you both to decide and agree on what “limitations” you both respect.
How do you handle contact and friendships with the opposite sex? You can agree on appropriate behavior when dealing with other men and women: friends, colleagues, and even ex-lovers.
For some, this may mean that a woman eating a work lunch with a male colleague is crossing a line. For others, it will be acceptable. But a man who continues to communicate with his ex-girlfriend via private text messages is crossing a line.
No one else can tell you what is and isn’t acceptable between you and your loved one. You both have an obligation to yourself and each other to discuss and agree on something that is acceptable to both of you.
Set ground rules for what you will accept within the relationship.
4. Make time for each other
It is often said that the quality of time spent together is more important than the quantity. However, unless we secure a certain amount of quantity, we cannot improve the quality.
Here are some things you and your partner can do together for just a few minutes each day.
- Spend a few minutes together in the morning as you get ready to say goodbye. Let’s cherish our farewells. Say “I love you.”
- When you both get home from work, share about your day. (I hope something good happens!)
- Express your gratitude to each other at least once a day. Say “please” and “thank you.”
Can jealousy be overcome?
The answer is yes. However, not all jealousy is harmful, so there is no need to get rid of it.
That little strain you feel when your man stares at a sexy woman on the beach a little too long can be a positive, especially if it makes you say, “Oh, I know, she’s special.” It’s something. yourself) lover. ”
Now, if that makes you say, “Do you know her? You look at her like you know her…or you want to. What don’t you have? It’s your fault that I don’t look like that. I don’t wear a bikini anymore, you know! I left her with 3 kids and 15 years and she turned into that cute little conductor. You won’t have a car…”
I understand. If your relationship is falling apart, you need to deal with jealousy in a healthy way. Feelings of jealousy, if handled correctly, can be the catalyst for a healthy relationship. They can be the first step towards increasing self-awareness and understanding. You will become more connected to yourself, your partner, and your relationship.
If you understand and manage jealousy correctly, it can strengthen your bond with your partner. It helps the two of you improve communication, increase intimacy, and get to know each other more deeply.
donna murphy I am a life and relationship coach and complement my sessions with tarot card readings to empower my clients along their journey of spiritual growth and personal growth.