It’s great when you meet a man who is attracted to you. But as you probably know from experience, attractiveness alone is not enough.
Once you’ve seen several men come and go, it becomes important to know how men bond with the women they date.
Here are three little signs that he wants to be with you long-term.
1. He starts slowly.
Men who are able to build long-term relationships are slow starters. I call it starting at level 5. He will take the time to get to know you because he knows it takes more than just chemistry to build a relationship.
For those starting at level 10, it’s all about chemistry. They are strong at first and always want to be with you. The problem is that because they aren’t building anything with you, you won’t be able to keep up the pace and will quickly lose interest.
Men who start at level 5 have room to grow and bond with you. Bonding with a man takes time and shared experiences. Men who stay with you for a long time start slow because they want to get to know you.
2. He gains momentum.
A man will bond with you as he gains momentum with you. It shows that he is starting to see you more and making you a part of his life.
His slow start isn’t enough. There must be a feeling that he is gaining momentum with you.
If you find yourself falling into a pattern of only meeting once a week for a date over an extended period of time, he has no momentum with you.
A man with momentum will start planning ahead and ask you how you feel. He doesn’t just live with you every week.
A good question to ask yourself is, “Do I feel like he has momentum?”
3. He has his sights set on the finish line.
The final piece of the puzzle is the bond when a man commits to you.
This happens when he asks you to stop dating other people and become exclusive with him. When he starts talking about you and making long term plans with you. When he introduces you to his family and friends and you become a part of his life. And finally, of course, when he asks you to marry him.
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You will notice that he wants to take more and more responsibility towards you. This means he includes you in his life decisions and asks what you think about it. In other words, he wants to build a life with you.
Men start slowly and bond with you as they get to know you as a person. Time and shared experiences are how people open up.
Momentum is important to a man. A man building with you is bonding with you.
A man who can see the finish line and who can share his vision with you is the man you’ll be with for the long term.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating and relationship coach for women based in Los Angeles. He is also the author of A Life of Love and Dating Advice for Alpha Women.