You claim that there are no good people in the world.
Hogwash! There are many wonderful men out there who are actively looking for a committed relationship. The problem lies in your approach, your mindset, and your expectations of the men you date.
The man of your dreams is handsome. There is still hair on the top of his head, and his stomach does not hang down to the belt. He is successful, caring, and intelligent, and his children live in states far away. You are looking for true love and you know exactly what you want and, more importantly, what you are not willing to accept in a man.
But knowing what you want and finding it are two different things.
If you haven’t found the man of your dreams yet, you’re not alone. Millions of single women are unable to find their “ideal man”. It’s not because they aren’t looking. The truth is that women say they want a committed relationship, but their actions and actions are actually sabotaging their chances of finding true love.
To avoid being fooled by a nice guy, try these four things:
1. You have unrealistic expectations.
Women are notorious for their “lists,” columns of checkmark boxes characterizing the traits and attributes that characterize the men they date or marry. Here’s a list of must-haves and deal breakers that men can’t compete with.
You refuse to date men who don’t pass your screening. You meet a great guy, but you reject him because he’s wearing the wrong shirt, his hair or glasses are outdated, or he’s just a little understated. You close your mind to the possibility that this man is a stable “diamond in the rough” who is intelligent, loving, and eager to be polished.
Solution: The difference between staying calm and keeping an open mind is knowing when your high standards turn into unrealistic and unachievable expectations.
I’m not saying you should lower your standards, and I’m not saying you should settle for Mr. Soso. But if you want to find true love, you need to define the characteristics and qualities that are truly important in a human being. Throw away your fantasy list.
2. Carrying extra baggage
You blame your low self-esteem and problems on a hurtful past. Your ex-boyfriend/husband/lover was neglectful, cheated on you, or was verbally or physically abusive.
You are distrustful, bitter, demanding, fearful and wary. You vow to never let another man stab you in the heart, lumping all men together into a cauldron of liars, cheaters, and bastards.
You are afraid of loving a man deeply because he might betray you or abandon you. When a man shows genuine interest in you, you push him away with insecure behavior, emotional outbursts, and excessive criticism.
Solution: Girl, give yourself a lot of credit and stop allowing other people’s negative and miserable thoughts and actions to dictate the quality of your life! You are better than what happened in the past. there is no. You are what you choose today.
You need to understand that you are not an overly critical person like a girl who was abandoned or abused by her mother or father. You are not the demeaning comments of an abusive boyfriend or her husband. You are not the woman who drinks or takes drugs to numb emotional pain.
You are on Earth to bless and benefit those who truly know you to appreciate, appreciate, and love you for the unique and special person you are. If you don’t understand that, you need counseling to resolve your emotional issues.
3. You’re attracted to the wrong men
You choose men based on your emotions and urges. You are attracted to men who are very confident, aloof, provocative, and intriguing. Average-looking, caring, dependable, doting men (also known as “marital partners”) are boring to you, and you yearn for bad men who make you feel insecure, insecure, and lovesick.
Solution: Falling in love with a good man is a conscious choice, not based on some unconscious attraction or tingling sensation. If you want to find true love, you must:
- Consciously and intentionally stop dating emotionally unavailable men, bad guys, and self-centered assholes.
- Refuse the insincere flattery and temptations of cool men, and be “excited” by their gentleness, dependability, and unconditional love.
- Avoid the emotional ups and downs of a love addict and look for relationships that encourage personal growth, trust, and stability.
4. You are not honest.
You say you want a man in your life, but you don’t want to share your bedroom, bathroom, or closet with him. You claim that it’s “me time” now that you’ve left your controlling, cheating, abusive boyfriend/girlfriend husband.
You accept his invitations to dinner or a movie, but intimacy with him is definitely out of the question. You hold him at arm’s length, realize there’s something wrong with him, and dump him — or you do something passive-aggressive that causes him to break up with you. You whine to your girlfriend that you don’t have a man in your life, but the reality is that you don’t want to compromise to bring love into your life.
Solution: You are not fooling me or anyone else, so stop fooling yourself. Please admit that. You don’t want to share your heart and space with a man. Don’t you think you can live your life without any restrictions now?
nancy nichols She is a best-selling author on self-help, dating, and relationships, an empowerment speaker, a notorious blogger, and a TV and radio talk show personality. She is an advocate for women who use self-help books to teach self-esteem building, the power of positive thinking, understanding relationships, and personal healing.