We all know that marriage is full of ups and downs. In the midst of a downturn, there is a potential disruptor that can be referred to as TIFS (trivial problems forming distortion).
These problems develop slowly and deeply penetrate the marriage, causing confusion and unexpected tension. As a result of these negative emotions, partners can develop resentment and cause irreparable damage.
In a recent Instagram post, psychologist Guy Winch shared a list of five common complaints people have about their partners and five gadgets that could potentially save your marriage. I liked this list so much that I decided to add some ideas of my own.
5 vexing problems couples face and simple solutions for each
1. Keep the toilet seat up
When I get home from a late shift, I rush to the bathroom. You held your bladder, hoping you wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom any time soon. And when your body touches the cold rim, you realize you have to lower your seat.
“With your heart racing, you lower the sheet, plotting revenge on your sleeping husband,” Winch writes.
Winch solution: Motion activated toilet night light with seated reminder
Our solution: toilet seat lifter
If you’re tired of screaming in your head about the toilet seat, why not suggest a toilet seat lifter? It’s a small device that attaches to the underside of the toilet. This technology uses motion sensors to detect when someone is nearby and automatically lowers the seat if no one is nearby.
2. Forget about social responsibility
According to Winch, “In many marriages, one partner plays the role of social secretary and often resents it.” Anger doesn’t just come from these acts, but from the constant need to remind a partner who doesn’t seem to remember anything.
Winch solution: synced calendar
Our solution: memory game
If you’re looking for a solution, let’s play a game! It’s similar to the memory card games we used to play as children. Create two personalized card decks with your partner, featuring important dates and events. The object of the game is to match each date with each event.
The loser must let the winner control Netflix for one week.
3. Disagreements while driving
Driving habits vary from person to person, and it’s easy to get angry at how your partner drives differently than you do.
Winch writes, “Many couples find it difficult to get into a car without arguing.”
Winch solution: GPS with traffic alerts, lane advisories and fuel economy routes
Our solution: (Non-binding) Driving Act Agreement
Now it’s time to hire a lawyer and draw up a contract. just kidding! However, the contract method can work.
Try creating a “contractual” agreement with your partner that goes beyond the rules and expectations of driving.
Covering expectations such as safety, speed limits, and procedures for dealing with emergencies will make both parties feel safer and more secure in the long run.
4. Watch TV at high volume
There are two types of people in the world. There are quiet people who watch TV like normal people, and people who are loud and turn up the volume to the maximum. and they get married.
This noisy disruption can be annoying and even distressing for the quiet partner. Overstimulation and dysregulation from loud noises is real.
Winch solution: wireless surround sound headphones
Our solution: soundproofing
A quick search online will turn up soundproof wall panels, ear-canceling headphones, and even sound-deadening blankets. There are plenty of options for canceling out the noise of a loud TV (and your partner). Sure, you can talk to your partner, but honestly, you can’t escape their shrieks all the time. This solution may be best left to those who want to be quiet.
5. Snoring
You’re sleeping next to your partner, dreaming of sunshine and rainbows, when suddenly the bed starts shaking. You turned to the side and realized that the terrifying noise was coming from your partner’s snoring.
When I think, “Oh, wow, how am I supposed to sleep?” I get angry.
Winch solution: Industrial strength beeswax earplugs
Our solution: mouse tape
Thanks to modern technology, there are many different ways to deal with the problem of snoring. Mouth tape, mouthpiece, or nose tape may be just the ticket for some people.
Unlike noisy machines, it’s easy to put on and take off, so hopefully both you and your partner can get a good night’s sleep.
Winch writes, “What determines marital satisfaction is not what you argue about, but whether you express your dissatisfaction productively.”
However, many people, myself included, struggle to express complaints without causing conflict. Therefore, when navigating marriage challenges, you may need to adopt new strategies and tools to avoid silly arguments.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a BA in Psychology who covers topics of personal development, relationships, career, and family.