When you date someone for the first time, it can be difficult to truly understand a man’s key personality traits because the flame of new love is so intense and the chemistry so high.
You may even unconsciously choose not to see the red flags of emotional abuse that are clearly being flagged by friends and family members watching helplessly from the outside. As it turns out, it’s working pretty well. There’s no need to spoil a mostly good thing with an unnecessary breakup.
Because you don’t want to get burned, have your heart broken, and potentially be traumatized in the future. Therefore, it is very helpful to know the outward signs of a potentially pathological person before you open up to him.
Here are five personality traits of men who want to avoid emotionally abusive relationships.
1. Self-centered
The word to describe this man is “narcissist.” Narcissists confidently present a one-size-fits-all mask to the world as a way to cope with their deep pain.
However, narcissism spans a spectrum, from the average self-centered person to the manipulative person to those who meet the clinical diagnostic criteria for narcissistic personality disorder.
No matter where he ranks in this pecking order, in a relationship with an overly exaggerated man, you are better off believing that you are just another object for him, displayed solely for his own benefit. . Run.
2. Suspicious charisma
His charisma is another part of the guise he uses to mask his true self, and his knowledge of what women feel and want to hear. Let’s just say it’s probably based on a lot of experience.
This guy knows how to say the right words and touch you in the right ways to get you hooked before you even get to know him and honestly evaluate the relationship. He is trying to use his charm and charisma to keep you under his control. Run.
3. Indifference
On your first few dates, when you’re just getting to know each other, he might express polite interest in getting to know you better. He may ask about your hobbies and home life, and want to know who you are on a deeper level.
But if, over time, his interest in you as a person (what excites you, how you spend your day, what your needs are) has all but disappeared, he’s less of a source of energy. is also likely to be a drain on your energy. Mutual love in a relationship. Run.
4. Downplay
He’s smart enough to know that if he insults you outright, he’ll jump immediately, but he might also disrespect you in a sneaky way in an attempt to gain power over you.
Be aware of common harmful behaviors.
- Give your pet a name that negatively describes your appearance or intelligence
- Blaming, insulting, or ignoring family and friends
- treat you disrespectfully through acts such as making you stand up
- Showing manly strength that isn’t very cute, such as picking him up off the ground when he clearly tells him he doesn’t like it.
These “little things” may seem harmless enough, but often they gradually wear away your self-esteem and make you accept his bad behavior by normalizing it. It’s an abusive man’s way of manipulating you. Don’t let him disrespect you. Instead, run.
5. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is an actual psychology term. It is a form of manipulation designed to sow seeds of doubt in targeted individuals or members of targeted groups, causing them to question their own memory, awareness, and sanity. They use persistent denials, misdirections, contradictions, and lies to destabilize their targets and attempt to delegitimize their beliefs.”
Essentially, this is a favorite tactic of abusive people, aimed at controlling someone by making them question their own reality. When a gaslighter wants to wear you down, they lie, deny, try to confuse you, project their own problems onto you, or call you crazy. These are just a few examples.
A man who uses any of these manipulative techniques should give you serious warnings about a potential relationship with him. Run.
If the man you’re talking to or dating exhibits any of these five disturbing traits, run away from him for as long as you can and never consider looking back.
Dina Robison is a soulmate attraction coach, law of attraction coach, and creator of the intentional attraction online course. Her byline has appeared in MSN Lifestyle, Bolde, Digital Romance, Fearless Soul, and more.