I’m often surprised by the questions men ask me on first dates. Some of the questions are too personal, while others seem more appropriate for a census than a date.
To start getting to know her without making her feel judged or investigated, ask her about her favorite things. Ask them how they like to spend their time and discuss more about your common interests. However, avoid asking her the following 5 types of questions as they will most likely ruin your chances of getting a second date.
Here are 5 questions you should never ask your girlfriend on a first date.
1. Don’t ask her questions that have a numerical answer.
This includes things like her age, how much rent she pays, and how long she’s been at her current job. Don’t ask how much money she makes, how often she goes to the gym, or how many kids she wants to have someday. There’s no need to quantify anything on the first date.
2. Don’t ask her why she’s passionate about what she loves.
If you don’t understand her perspective, asking questions will only highlight the disparity. Instead, focus on what you have in common. As you get to know each other better, she will find it easier to explain her point of view.
3. Don’t ask about her recent dating experience
There’s nothing more awkward than being asked on a first date, “When was your last date?” or “When was the last time you were intimate?” All you can do with that information about her is judge her. If she says 6 months ago, you’ll wonder why she hasn’t dated anyone since then.
If she said last week, you’d think she was playing on the field. But that’s not your job. All you need to remember is that she chose to date you and she knows about you. Focus on that and give the relationship a chance to develop.
4. Just in case, don’t ask her anything about her ex-boyfriends or relationships.
It’s not “How long was your longest relationship?” or “Have you ever dated younger men?” This is not the time to ask anything about other guys. Give her a chance to feel comfortable with you (at least a few dates) before asking about her past relationships.
5. Don’t ask her where she went to college or what her parents do for a living.
This type of question will be treated as an interview type question and you will be judging her accordingly. If you were an Ivy Leaguer or otherwise attended a highly regarded and expensive college, asking her where she went to school is a good sign that she’s on your level. It may sound like you’re trying to find out. And does it matter what her parents do at work? No, it’s not. Anyway, she knows nothing about her and their relationship.
If you want to go on a second date with her, you can’t ask questions that will make her uncomfortable. Avoiding these five things about her will only increase your chances of scoring on the second date.
Rebecca A. Marquis is a dating coach and author of the following books: How to be a good boyfriend: 34 ways to keep your girlfriend from getting annoyed, jealous, or crazy..