The famous story of Dr. Terry Orbach, a social psychologist working at the University of Auckland. Collected data by following 373 couples Over the course of 30 years, I kept in touch with them during my first, third, seventh and 16th year of marriage.
By the end of that time, 49% of couples had divorced.
When we investigated why some marriages lasted and others didn’t, we found that most divorced people share the same five regrets about their marriages.
5 things divorced people regret most about their marriage
1. Not showing your partner that you love and care about them.
Small gestures like complimenting your partner, saying “I love you,” or holding hands can go a long way in your marriage.
The most important way to show affection is to show love, show support, and make your partner happy. Also, love makes relationships more interesting and less boring.
2. Don’t talk about money.
Money is the biggest source of conflict in most marriages. “Talk about money more often, not just at tax time or when you’re in big debt and the bills arrive,” says Dr. Orbach.
Money should be transparent in relationships and something that can be discussed without fighting or getting angry.
Money is something that causes tension and always will. So instead of making it happen as a couple, let money bring you together. Because that’s what one person should leave behind.
3. Don’t let go of the past.
Dr. Auerbach believes that in order to engage with your partner in a healthy way, you need to let go of the past.
She said: “This includes getting over jealousy of your partner’s past relationships, frustration with your mother-in-law’s treatment of you, a childhood incident that made you difficult to trust, and an argument you had with your spouse from six months ago.” “I will,” he said. . ”
Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal, talk to a friend, or consult a professional.
4. Blame the other person.
Ask your partner for their take on the issue. “There are multiple ways to look at a problem,” Dr. Orbach says. “Taking your partner’s perspective and combining it with yours gives you perspective on the relationship.”
5. Lack of effective communication.
41% of respondents cited communication as the biggest factor they would change in their next relationship, as lack of communication is the number one factor driving divorce.
Dr. Auerbach believes in practicing active listening, “trying to hear what the other person is saying, repeating what you just heard, and asking if you understand correctly.”
She also says that partners need to reveal more about themselves in order to maintain communication.
keithlin hitt He is a freelance writer and editor whose work has appeared in Thrillist, Romper, and the New York Daily News, among others.