You know that feeling like there’s a pit in your stomach, or like your relationship with your spouse isn’t working out.
Just like any other aspect of our lives, relationships go through cycles of ups and downs. But how can you know if the cycle is progressing or if the relationship is headed for a breakup? After all, relationships can deteriorate so slowly that you hardly notice.
There is no magic formula for identifying relationship problems or easy solutions for repairing them. However, your questions and intuition about the relationship may reveal problems and point the way to solutions.
6 signs your relationship is crumbling & it’s time to take action
1. More arguments and complaints.
You and your partner are arguing even more.you complain about the same problem repeatedly, but it doesn’t work. There may be a pause or a temporary truce in the fighting, but then the action resumes.
One or both of you may feel angry, hurt, and frustrated at not being able to have a meaningful or peaceful conversation.
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2. Conversation is awkward or superficial.
“We don’t talk anymore” is a common opinion about many long-term partnerships. This can come from feeling like you already know everything there is to know about your partner, but that’s rarely true. At work, with friends and family, or even parenting children, each person in the relationship experiences and perceives it differently.
It’s dangerous to guess what the other person is thinking or feeling. We are more often wrong than we think. Often when you say this, what you mean is that the conversations are highly filtered or edited (to avoid sparking conflict) and that you know very little about what’s going on in each other’s lives. That’s it.
3. You will withdraw from each other and your lives will become more and more apart.
One or both of you often choose to spend long hours at work. They often go out separately for socializing without their partner or spouse. The workplace can be competitive, career demanding, and require extra time and effort.
Everyone needs “me time” and most relationships benefit from a healthy solo career. However, choosing to spend too much time apart can cause a rift between the two of you. Excluding partners leads to a lack of shared experience and division.
There are two old sayings: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” and “Out of sight, out of consciousness.” They are equally true; But it varies greatly depending on the degree. Spending some time apart can make you “like it,” but being too far away can make you “blind and out of mind.”
4. Ignoring or interfering with each other.
When you’re angry, you may choose to respond with silence, ignore others, or refuse to engage in polite and constructive dialogue even when it’s attempted.of lack of common courtesy This can be a key indicator that one or both of you have lost the desire to behave civilly or actively strive to improve the relationship.
It may seem like a small thing, but it can do a lot of damage by compromising respect for each other.
5. You fantasize about having an affair or having an affair.
Daydreaming is a way to escape from the reality of the situation you are currently in, and is unlikely to solve your relationship problems if you are seriously trying to repair the relationship. The same applies if you actually commit adultery. Both have the same drawbacks. That is, it can take you away from your current relationship and make it seem “perfect” in a way that real, real-time, all-in relationships can’t match.
Secrecy, cheating, and divided loyalties can cause irreparable damage to everyone involved.
The first step to repairing a relationship, if it can be repaired, is communication. (Yes, I know it’s not as simple as it seems.)
6. You don’t know how to talk to your partner about your concerns.
“We fight all the time and they don’t listen to me.” Or, “Even if I try to talk, they just make me even more angry!”
Your current communication style may not suit you. The solution is to approach the conversation differently. There’s no guarantee of a good outcome, but if you use the same approach and communication style that got you here, you’re almost guaranteed to fail.
There are several ways to prevent your relationship from falling apart.
Start the conversation when you’re both relatively calm and relaxed.
Be open-minded and start in the present (instead of digging up the past).
Use “I” expressions to focus on yourself and what you are currently feeling and experiencing.
Ask or describe what you would like to experience with your partner, especially if you can draw examples from positive past experiences.
listen. Once you find the courage to speak, you also need the patience to listen. Speak up based on the current situation and ask open-ended questions. Don’t answer questions or guess what the other person will say.
It’s not easy to move on and try to repair the rift in a relationship. You may be afraid to face and name your feelings, what your partner might say or how they might react.
Another (less common) way to find the answer
If you need additional support, you can also turn to astrology, numerology, and even tarot readings. This will help you focus on yourself positively and give you guidance on healing yourself and your relationships. Sometimes you need to think outside the box.
Tarot readers often find patterns in the cards that answer questions and doubts about your relationship.
For example, in Tarot, the suit of swords symbolizes conflict, strife, and confusion (among other things), and the suit of cups symbolizes emotions. Tarot readings can help you determine where your relationship challenges lie.
For example, draw five cups or five swords while reading. These cards can indicate that you are disappointed and quickly growing tired of the ongoing conflicts in your relationship. The Eight of Cups can suggest that you or your partner have given up and walked away (or are seriously considering doing so). The Seven of Swords can indicate feelings of failure and defeat in relationships. And the three swords represent a broken heart and the enlightenment that can grow from suffering.
Reading tarot cards before tackling relationship challenges with your partner can give you a better idea of how the conversation will go and what to expect from the future of your relationship.
Donna Murphy is a life and relationship coach who complements her sessions with tarot card readings to empower her clients along their journey of spiritual growth and personal growth. Visit her website dstnytarot.comor download her Free Weekly Tarotcast™ Readings For more information.