Life is full of stressors, so it’s the little things that matter most, and that applies equally to marriage and relationships. And for one woman on TikTok, what’s making a big difference in her relationship with her husband is probably something most of us don’t really think about.
One woman shared eight text messages her emotionally available husband sent her that made her feel safe, protected, and heard.
Wife, mother, and doula, Avery Chanel Jamison, also known as @avreechanel on TikTokfrequently shares pictures of her life in the mountains of Colorado with her husband James and baby girl. Recently, she shared her eight texts from James. It made a huge difference for her and, in her words, “healed me.”
These are examples of what a relationship can be when two people are unafraid to be emotionally vulnerable and are able to communicate.
1. “I’m never going to abandon you, never.”
This text was sent during a conflict between Avery and her husband. How he handled this intense moment is a master class in conflict resolution, especially for people with abandonment or attachment issues.
Jamison’s husband suggested that she take time to “cool her head” and rest rather than start another argument when she got home because she was “not going anywhere.” He then assured her, “I was here yesterday, I’m still here, I’ll be here tomorrow morning, and I’ll be here every morning after that.”
People with attachment trauma or abandonment issues often feel that conflict means the relationship is over, but clearly acknowledging that this is not the case can make a huge difference. born.
2. “I don’t care if I hurt anyone’s feelings in this world to protect yours.”
It’s certainly a bold statement, but one that shows how much he prioritizes his wife and their partnership. Many people were deeply moved, with one poster saying that seeing the text brought tears to his eyes.
But others were less convinced, feeling like he was setting a harmful standard of condoning abusive behavior toward anyone except his wife. However, in a subsequent TikTok, Jamison explained the misunderstood text. It was after an incident where someone insulted her.
Rather than keeping the peace, James wasn’t afraid to offend his opponents in order to stand up for his wife.
3. “We got this, and we got each other.”
It’s a simple statement with an important message. No matter how picture-perfect a person’s or couple’s life may seem, difficult times will always come at some point. It’s just part of life.
Jamison’s husband took the time to remind her that she is never alone in the challenges she faces and that he will always be by her side.
It goes without saying in any healthy relationship or marriage, but we all need to hear that from time to time.
4. He provided positive and helpful suggestions and support during difficult moments.
Ms Jamison said the fourth email came at the moment she became extremely ill while pregnant with her daughter. After cautioning her not to panic, he offered her suggestions that might ease the anxiety she was feeling, such as meditation or calming music. He then shared what he did proactively to help his girlfriend. He made her girlfriend chew ginger, her holistic remedy to relieve her nausea.
While a gesture like this won’t cure morning sickness, it can certainly help ease the burden of letting your partner know you’re on their side when they’re feeling scared and vulnerable.
5. “To me, you have never been more beautiful than you are now.”
This text was written immediately after childbirth, one of the most vulnerable times a woman can experience. Jamison’s girlfriend’s husband never intended for her to think that his feelings about her appearance had changed one bit.
“I know you’re depressed about your post-baby figure, but to me you’ve never been more beautiful than you are right now,” he texted. Jamison must have felt so good knowing that as far as her husband was concerned, nothing had changed for her.
6. “I will fight not to lose you.”
“It’s clear to me now that I never knew true love. And now that I’ve found it with you, I’m going to fight to never lose it,” James wrote to his wife. .
It may seem bland or over-the-top, but all relationships hit the rocks at some point, and even simple friendships will eventually run into trouble. And for many people, especially those who have suffered abandonment or attachment trauma, the reassurance that their partner will be with them long-term can make a huge difference.
7. “You’re doing great on every level…You got this, I got you too.”
This text was sent to Jamison during a difficult postpartum period, and it echoes what every parent feels over and over again: Maybe I’m not cut out to raise a child, and I’m afraid I’ll ruin everything. It touches on that fear. Jamison’s husband made sure to say things her parents needed to hear. you’re doing a good job. “I know you’re going through a tough postpartum period,” he wrote, “but watching you get through it from the outside, you’re doing great on every level.” Masu.”
He went on to call Jamison’s ability to “work through the extreme ups and downs” of the postpartum period “inspirational,” adding that Jamison was there for her during what many mothers say is the loneliest time of motherhood. He said that he once again reassured her that he was there.
8. “I can see you and I can hear you.”
Therapists often say that the way a couple communicates can make a big difference in a relationship, and perhaps this is where James’ greatest talent as an emotionally available husband lies.
When there was a conflict between the two, he would take a moment to stop the conversation and switch to a simple affirmation: “I see you and I hear you.” Sometimes that’s all we need to hear in order to have a productive discussion rather than a fight.
Can texting alone save a marriage? Probably not. But in the end, it’s not the texts that matter, it’s the fact that you open up even during the most difficult times so that you can continue to be there for each other for the long haul. It’s not always easy, but it definitely makes a big difference.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer covering topics related to pop culture, social justice, and the good of humanity.