I’ve come across several people who seem to hate all of their ex-boyfriends. They never seem to take responsibility for their part in the breakup. They seem to be dumping everything on their ex. In fact, they believe this so strongly that they seem almost delusional.
For example, a friend of mine was accused of adultery even though he never had a relationship with anyone until the relationship ended. One of my co-bloggers has been accused of being a liar and manipulative, but in reality, one of her main problems with her is that she’s too honest, compulsively honest .
Reasons why you hate your ex after breaking up.
People know exactly where she stands and what she wants. Why do people think of their exes in the worst possible way after they start dating? Is there a reason why they hate their exes so much after they break up?
There are many possible explanations. We know that we idealize our partners at the beginning of a relationship. We ignore their flaws and focus on their good points. Dopamine is the main neurotransmitter responsible for this type of incorrect judgment.
When a relationship breaks down, it’s rare for both parties to be happy with the breakup and remain close friends. In fact, in the rare cases when such things happen, neither party will likely blame the other.
But most often, breakups are accompanied by heartbreak, anger, anger, resentment, regret, jealousy, etc. Dopamine also plays an important role in all these emotions. So it’s possible that the dopamine that causes these emotions is causing people to see things that aren’t there.
Dopamine itself can cause people to form beliefs that are not based on evidence. People with higher-than-normal levels of dopamine in their blood are more likely to see meaning in coincidences and find meaningful patterns in arbitrary scrambled images.
Researchers at University Hospital Zurich, Switzerland They surveyed 20 people who claimed to believe in the paranormal and 20 who said they did not. When participants were asked to indicate which faces were real and which were scrambled in a series of briefly flashed images, those who believed in the paranormal were more likely to be scrambled than the skeptical participants. They were more likely to choose the face that looked like the real one as real. The results were the same when participants were tested using words instead of faces.
After the first trial, the researchers administered L-dopa, which has the same effects as dopamine, to both groups of participants. After taking this drug, skeptics made far more mistakes when looking for real words and faces than before taking the drug.
The findings suggest that dopamine can help us see things that aren’t there and form beliefs without solid evidence. These results explain why we hate our exes so much after a breakup, and why people in love tend to idealize their partner and attach meaning to his every little action. You may be doing it.
When you’re in love, your dopamine levels increase when you think about your lover. This makes the brain less reliable for forming firm beliefs and making wise decisions.
This delusional thinking can come back full force when a relationship ends, especially if it wasn’t your decision to end it. Craving for the dopamine relief that only an ex can provide can not only make you a little paranoid, but it can also make you feel angry and hateful towards the only person who is withholding the “drug” from you – your ex. .
Berit “Britt” Brogaard, DMSci., Ph.D., is a professor of philosophy and director of the Brogaard Institute for Multisensory Research at the University of Miami. Her work has been featured on the Huffington Post, MSNBC, Daily Mail, Time, Psychology Today, Psych Magazine, ABC News, and more.
This article was originally published at: psychology today. Reprinted with permission from the author.