Love is a hot and difficult subject. We know that good love takes time and effort, but love seems to fall apart quickly when laziness creeps in.
Why do some couples weather any storm in their relationship, while others crumble in the face of conflict?
Here are eight small ways strong couples create (and maintain) deep, loving connections.
1. Deal with past pain
This is a big deal. After the age of 16, there is a 100% chance that you will be hurt, disappointed, or betrayed. Happy couples take time individually to feel the pain of the past, heal it, and leave it where it belongs…the past.
We may love the person we’re with, but if we don’t deal with past hurts, we end up projecting everything onto that person. When we have unprocessed pain, we drag it along. You can’t skim your way out of emotional pain or think positively. When you try to bottle up your emotions, you end up finding ways to make your current partner pay for someone else’s past sins because you want to process the pain. .
Healthy couples deal with the past in order to be happy in the present.
2. Don’t overthink everything
Remember the term analysis paralysis? When we overthink and overanalyze someone’s every word, move, and intention, we miss the chance for intimacy and connection.
Happy couples accept each other at face value rather than seeking different meanings from each other’s words and actions. Emotional paranoia is a sign that you are acting out emotionally from your past to keep yourself safe in the present.
Healthy couples aren’t overly cautious. Even if we’ve hurt each other in the past, we don’t expect to be hurt again.
Please do not forget. We are seeing what we expect. Happy couples stay in the present moment.
3. Be emotionally open.
Emotionally putting one foot in front of the other to protect yourself is like trying to keep going 100 miles per hour while hitting the brake every minute. Healthy couples respect boundaries but are vulnerable and open with each other.
We are often hurt and never able to heal those wounds again. Happy couples take their foot off the brake and trust.
4. They avoid taking each other for granted
Happy couples don’t take for granted that they’ll be together forever. They do not forget to give each other the charm and attention they give to others. He needs two people to dance the hot and passionate dance of tango. We expect happy couples to never let go of one hand and keep dancing with the other.
5. They maintain eye contact
As William Shakespeare used to say, “The eyes are the windows to the soul.”
Let’s be honest, life is busy. Over time, it becomes a little too easy to leave the house in the morning without making eye contact. It may sound small, but eye contact is intimate. Happy couples remember that intimacy in the bedroom begins with intimate contact throughout the day. They look at each other.
6. They remain intrigued
Even if you meet at birth, spend every day together, and talk for hours, you will never know everything about another human being. We are all individuals with unique thoughts, perceptions, and emotional experiences.
People change over time, and healthy couples continue to explore each other, recognizing that no matter how long they’ve been together, it’s impossible to know everything.
7. They stay in the moment.
Happy couples know that staying in the moment is non-negotiable when it comes to love. Even in difficult times, they remember that the past is not the same as the future. Healthy partners relate to the person right now, not the ghost of yesterday.
8. Keep touching
Two major influences on our sex drive come from our skin and our brain. The relationship gets heated at first because we are constantly touching and kissing each other, talking and asking questions.
As time passes, happy couples continue to touch each other. When you touch someone you love, the hormone oxytocin is produced, provides us with rich opportunities for connection. Oxytocin is a powerful love drug. Talk stimulates the brain and touch stimulates everything else. Happy couples touch each other a lot.
Tamara Star is an author, culture creator, and CEO of TStar Recruiting. Her work has been featured on Yahoo News, Good Morning America, Sirius XM, The Huffington Post, and DayBreakUSA.