Metro
A Brooklyn woman who witnessed her activist boyfriend stabbed to death in a random attack at a Bed-Stuy bus stop in October is going through a tough holiday season without the “love of her life.”
More than two months after Ryan Carson was murdered, Claudia Morales wrote, “This is shaping up to be the hardest Christmas of my life.”
“After losing Ryan, I’m not bitter about the love of others; I’m more in awe of it. But it hurts so much to witness it sometimes,” she said. I pondered this in a post on December 24th.
As the holidays approach, Morales says, “I’m really scared for the next two months because I don’t know how I’m going to get through Christmas and New Years and my birthday and Valentine’s Day. My four favorite days are four, and my best days are… There are 4 things I have to share with Ryan, but I’m going to face it,” according to X’s poignant Dec. 15 post.
Morales, 28, said in another X post that she is often “caught off guard by unexpected and painful moments” as she remembers her slain boyfriend.
“I want this year to be over, but I can’t bear to be a part of a year that Ryan hasn’t been a part of,” she wrote on Dec. 5.
Three days earlier, she had posted, “Every time I watch a show I was supposed to watch with Ryan, I feel like my guts are being torn apart.”
She has frequently recalled her memories of Carson, 32, who was known as a beloved social justice advocate, and their relationship in heartbreaking social media posts.
Images of Morales and Carson smiling in selfies, posing at a baseball game at Fenway Park, and screenshots of sweet messages Morales sent her outline their journey together. It shows.
In a message to Morales on January 27, he said: ”
The two had been dating for about a year and a half, when a deranged maniac, later identified by police as 18-year-old Brian Dowling, stabbed Carson three times.
Morales complained to her attacker during the harrowing attack, which was caught on camera at 4 a.m. on Oct. 2, when the couple was on their way home from a wedding on Long Island.
The day after the killing, Morales shared a screenshot of a note he found on Carson’s phone. The following was written there: It’s what you ever deserve. ”
“He did it, he did it, he did it,” the self-proclaimed “widow” captioned the post.
“Early on with Ryan, before he knew we were in a relationship forever, he said it was going to be a terrible breakup.” [of] About my life, about the person I married, but it turned out to be the third secret,” she wrote on October 20.
“I do not recommend having the love of your life killed in front of you,” she posted the same day.
Mr. Dowling has pleaded not guilty to murder and weapons charges. Attempts by the newspaper to contact Mr. Morales were unsuccessful.
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