When it comes to dating, there are several ways to figure out if the person you’re dating is right for you. Most of us try to ask the right questions, compare values, and pay attention to how our date treats service staff.
Gabby Padron, Dating and Confidence CoachHowever, she shared the “test” she gives prospective men to see if they can treat her right.
A dating coach described three first date “tests” women can use to see if a man can adequately “provide” and “protect.”
1. Chivalry test
“Let’s stop this conversation and this 50-50 exchange,” she said in the video. “On the first date, he has to pay 100 percent. If he doesn’t, it’s like goodbye.”
according to 2019 survey conducted by dating site Elite Singles, 63% of men and 46% of women agreed that in a heterosexual relationship, the man is responsible for picking up the tab on the first date. And divorce lawyer Justin Lee agreed, but it’s not in the name of chivalry, and in fact, as Padron suggested in her video, men should always pay in case someone does a test. I believe that.
While it’s certainly chivalrous for a man to offer to pay, relationship psychologist Zoe Coetzee tells Elite Singles magazine, “Gender norms have evolved and become increasingly important at work, socially, politically, and even romantically. Equality has become the standard we aspire to in the field as well.”
“These expectations and norms can change from person to person, so it’s a topic to discuss as a couple if it comes up,” says Coetzee.
2. Protection test
In explaining this, Padron gave an example of a recent date that didn’t pass the test. She explained that after going out drinking with a man in downtown Miami, she called them both for an Uber home. When his girlfriend’s Uber arrived first, he offered to be there and wait until her girlfriend’s Uber arrived before leaving.
She tells him that he should go ahead, to try him out. She really wanted him to decline her offer and stay with her anyway. When he instead accepted her offer and left in her Uber, it immediately raised a red flag for her.
“It’s 4 a.m. in Miami, Florida, and nothing good can come of it,” she said in the video. “Everything’s shut down and I’m standing there all alone… No now, no now. If you don’t care about my safety and make sure I get her Uber ride safely. It’s over.”
She also said that men should also text their dates after returning home to make sure they got home safely, but her date didn’t do that, meaning he was “protected”. He also stated that this meant that he had failed both parts of the test.
3. Provider test
The third and final test she mentions in the video is meant to show her how much a man is willing to give her.
“When we go out, if you’re wearing a jacket or some kind of overshirt, I’ll always say it’s definitely cold, because if you could take off the shirt on your back for me.” Please, I want to know,’” she said in the video. “If you don’t, you’ll be dead to me.”
“Testing” a date doesn’t necessarily give you an accurate idea of the other person’s personality.
Some commenters agreed with Padron’s process and praised her hard work, but others were less receptive to her “test” and criticized her for not communicating clearly with her date. There were also people.
One person commented, “Grown women don’t play games,” which is the opinion of clinical psychologist Dr. Jerry Heisler. Explained in an article in Psychology Today as “destructive”. The “guessing game” can easily lead to disappointment, Heisler said, especially since not everyone has the same values. So if a man does the same thing to his two women’s “tests”, one woman may be satisfied with the result, but another woman may see it as a failure. It may be.
Instead, people should be transparent about what they are looking for in a potential partner or relationship.
Jonathan Alfano I am a writer who focuses on news and entertainment topics.