Breaking up hurts. End of story. They not only affect you immediately, but they also have lasting effects (sometimes good, sometimes not so good) and ultimately affect you as a person and how you interact with other people. , it will change your future relationships.
If you’ve ever had someone break up with you, you know how it feels.
Here are 10 ways you fundamentally change when someone breaks up with you.
1. You’re more careful about who you put in your life
You’re not afraid to say “no” to people, but you’re not so extreme as to say it to everyone who approaches you, even if they’re just asking for directions. What it means to say “no” is when you feel in your big heart that the sweet offer of being someone’s one true love is only going to end in tragic bitterness. It means saying no carefully and courageously. You’re still not too depressed about his score of 0 in the love department, so you can wait for someone nicer.
2. You will learn to trust yourself more.
If there’s one person in this populated world who never lies, it’s surprisingly yourself. But this is not a fact that you will magically realize one day. It takes a big, dramatic breakup to know that when you’re alone at 3 a.m., sobbing and dehydrated, the only person you can rely on is yourself. Only you know yourself and your secrets best. No one can hurt you unless they know your weaknesses. You are the only one who ultimately knows these shortcomings, and you have learned not to share them with anyone but yourself.
3. Disappointments no longer surprise you.
You don’t flinch when people or situations let you down. You’ve probably seen people just wave goodbye and leave without saying a word. You have become a ghost. You mourned someone who was still alive and well. No longer will you be shocked by disappointment. When other humans forget to keep their promises, you just smile sadly, remember that human failure is normal, and move on with your life without complaining.
4. Stop being a stalker
Not only is it extremely embarrassing to be caught, but it also destroys morale. After spending hours browsing your ex’s social media profiles, you’ll realize how pointless it is to care about that one person who forgot about you a long time ago. . Researching someone else’s life and comparing it to yours is mentally draining. Some things aren’t worth knowing. Learn to keep your attention on yourself and live your life.
5. You’re setting your expectations for online dating below par.
Unless you’re 12 years old, you know and have experienced that there are no fairy tales when it comes to online dating. Maybe there’s a 0.01% chance that people will be much happier in that shared world, but after spending some time on these dating apps, you’ll find yourself somehow on the other side of the equation. Become convinced. You’re not stupid enough not to know that it’s best to ignore chats that arrive in your inbox after midnight. People sign up for dating apps for a variety of reasons, but finding a serious relationship is rarely one of them.
6. We look at loneliness differently.
You realize that it’s not sad to spend time with yourself. Your own company isn’t as bad as you think. You can learn a lot about yourself when you are not influenced by others. Human evolution, on average, does not depend on whether we are in a romantic relationship or not. No one wants to sit somewhere alone and die of anxiety. It’s okay to go on a date with yourself once in a while.
7. Understand that you can’t change people.
Most people don’t respond well to being controlled, let alone manipulated. You can give them opinions and suggestions, but it is ultimately up to them to accept or reject them. It’s not cool to impose your beliefs on others. No one wants their freedom to be trampled upon. It’s not good to force people to change for your own sake.
8. It’s easier to follow your instincts
Even if you are told that something is wrong, you cannot ignore your feelings. You watch like a hawk when someone shows interest in you. Are you reading their intentions carefully – do they really like you because they’re crazy about you? Or do they only like you because they want something from you? Not all first impressions are long-lasting. Asking yourself questions about your partner’s personality can help you avoid making bad decisions.
9. Don’t take everything personally
If someone dumps you, it doesn’t automatically mean there’s something wrong with you. In most, if not all cases, the person who decides to break up with you one day is someone who has major issues that need some sort of resolution. Maybe you’re too good for them and they feel like they don’t deserve you. No matter what excuse they give to break up with you, it all comes down to the fact that they can’t handle someone like you. And it’s never too late to find someone who can.
10. I can’t imagine myself abandoning someone else.
To you, revenge is foolish and immature. Just because someone broke your precious feelings before doesn’t give you permission to do the same for someone else. Nothing is gained by causing pain to others.
When you find yourself in a situation that you don’t like, you don’t suddenly leave without saying anything. People deserve to know the truth, or at least an explanation, the moment they decide they don’t need that person in their life anymore. It cannot mysteriously disappear from the face of the earth. You need to give them a good reason for leaving, which will help them heal and move on with life.
Angelo Karlang is a writer and author of the following books: sparks of broken light. His byline has appeared in Puckermob, Thought Catalog, and The Mind’s Journal, where he writes about lifestyle and relationship topics.
This article was originally published at: thought catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.