What distinguishes it from unrequited love or romance is its intensity, a rollercoaster of emotions that can range from euphoria to despair. Julia Poerio“Signs of rejection can bring someone down, and signs of interest can send someone high,” says the psychologist and wandering mind researcher at the University of Sussex in the UK. ” states. It’s a never-ending mind game of “she loves me, she doesn’t love me.”
Limerent is deeply afraid of rejection and puts his self-worth in the hands of LO, who doesn’t even know he exists. The LO is most often a friend, colleague, or stranger you meet by chance. It could also be someone you’ve had a brief romantic encounter with that feels unresolved, Dr. Poerio explains, especially if your LO keeps leaving breadcrumbs behind.
Sue Crump, a 67-year-old volunteer at a mental health charity shop in Sheffield, England, said she had been binge-watching YouTube videos featuring LO for 18 months. Her LO is a much younger married singer whom she has met briefly a few times. . “I was fantasizing about a relationship with him and reading the texts and online messages he sent in replies to my messages.” She turned around. limerence support group She posted on Facebook shortly after the isolation of the pandemic lockdown made her longing even worse. “It made me realize I’m not alone and I’m not crazy,” Crump said.
limerence being nourished By replaying memories and rehearsing future interactions. “There’s a fair amount of mental time travel,” said Dr. Poerio, who asked survey respondents to write descriptions of these fantasies. “It’s often not romantic or sexual in nature. It’s just about wanting to feel loved and cherished.”
Chris Gregory, 53, a certified yoga instructor in Denver, remembers his first experience with limerence in high school. “I developed an abnormally obsessive crush on women, and then I stopped pursuing them. And then I realized that they didn’t respond as the scene played out in my own head and heart. “I was crushed. I felt worthless,” he said. Throughout his adult life, Gregory continued to experience feelings of freedom, which he said he mistook for love.