Like other psychological traumas, childhood trauma leaves deep emotional scars, often affecting the mind as PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and lasting for long periods of time, even years. You may not be able to recover from the trauma over time. In some cases, decades.
There are many symptoms of PTSD that you may not even know you have because you have experienced childhood trauma.
Because the nature of the trauma, along with childhood history and relationships, contribute to PTSD symptoms, symptoms can be complex and different from typical ones.
Here are eight small ways childhood trauma can still have a tragic effect on you.
1. You are very alert and cautious
Your mind is on high alert. It’s not something you do intentionally. It’s the effects of trauma.
You constantly scan the world for evidence of danger. I don’t feel safe anywhere. can not sleep. Double check the lock. I’m scared to go anywhere alone, especially at night.
But it’s also hard to trust that someone will keep you safe. The world seems out of control. Anything can happen and you can’t stop it.
Your only option, your unconscious mind tells you, is to keep a close eye on everything and everyone around you. That way, you might be able to protect yourself this time.
2. Feel danger around every corner
Childhood trauma means you are at risk. This has led your brain (and even deeper, your unconscious) to believe that danger can occur at any time.
You were helpless and had no one to turn to for safety. Maybe your trauma was inflicted by someone who was supposed to care for you.
You are on high alert to take care of yourself with the utmost care.
You need to feel in control and know what it’s like to be out of control. Your child’s mind remembers the trauma of helplessness. Hypervigilance and fear of danger are designed to protect you.
There is no one else to keep you safe, so you must protect yourself. Especially from the catastrophe that I am sure is about to happen.
3. Feeling of impending doom.
Yes, you feel danger looming around every corner. But even more frightening is the fear that an earth-shaking catastrophe is about to occur.
Believe it or not, this fear is often triggered when something good happens. The catastrophe you anticipate always takes away the good.
someone might die. I might be killed. Everything will fall apart. You are afraid of doing the wrong thing.
That fear can make you afraid to go outside. I’m scared to drive. Worried about sleeping? Sometimes I would panic about what I was going to eat. You are afraid of parting with a loved one.
4. Afraid to get angry, fight back, or speak out.
Anger is one of the most terrifying emotions. You worry about hurting someone, pushing them away, or retaliation. Therefore, your anger may be well hidden even from yourself.
Or, when you get angry, your frustration may explode and you may feel scared or guilty. You try as hard to control it as you try to control everything else.
Maybe someone’s anger hurt or scared you when you were a child. When you were young, you may not have been able to fight back and may have been threatened or punished if you tried to speak up.
So you hold back on things or assume that no one will listen. Perhaps somewhere in your heart you resent having to obey.
It’s very difficult not to be able to stand up for yourself, but you can’t do that. You swallow your feelings. You don’t trust people, relationships, or anyone to be there for you or listen to you.
5. Feeling panicky or claustrophobic when trapped
You feel trapped in different situations. I can’t say “no” and I can’t leave when I want to. Maybe you’re claustrophobic too.
You cannot ride elevators or enter confined spaces. Avoid entering the MRI, small rooms, and crowded areas. When you feel like you can’t get out of it, you panic. This situation must be avoided at all costs.
If you feel like you have to give the other person what they want and you can’t express your feelings and needs openly, this is a different kind of trap. It’s more about how trauma affects your mind.
Your emotions are locked inside you. You can’t be yourself openly. You and your emotions are trapped inside a tight box.
6. You feel distrustful of relationships.
One of the reasons you can’t be who you are is that you feel insecure around most people. You’re wary of anything that makes you feel like you’re not liked, good enough, or as good as them.
You constantly compare yourself. Things often seem condescending. I’m not sure. When you’re anxious, it’s difficult to relax.
Trusting people is not easy. Sometimes I don’t think it’s worth trying to get close to them, but I do it because I’m lonely.
But you can never feel close to someone because you are always worried about being judged, rejected, or taken advantage of. It’s a vicious cycle that you want to break out of but can’t.
You are in a state of high or low level anxiety almost all the time.
7. Suffer from depression, anxiety, OCD, or drug/alcohol use
The emotional impact of childhood trauma can lead to severe and persistent depression, anxiety, OCD, and substance abuse.
Constant worry, fear of catastrophe, feeling of imminent danger, panic, fear of expressing one’s emotions are caused by anxiety. You need to feel in control, and OCD is a way of trying to get that.
Emotionally, OCD is a technique for overcoming anxiety. You may be ritualistic about what you do. Always clean. Or keep things neat and tidy. Be sure to plan carefully to avoid making mistakes. Mistakes mean loss of control. But, inevitably, a terrible suspicion reigns. What if I’m wrong?
It’s very difficult to live like this. Especially if you feel like there is no help or escape. And this leads to depression. I feel hopeless. can not sleep. Dreams and nightmares haunt you. You’re afraid to try therapy – or maybe it’s all a failure.
Turning to alcohol or drugs may seem like the only way out of constant suffering. Your self-esteem is very low and you don’t have much hope. But it’s important to know that none of this is your fault.
You don’t have to live like this.
8. Recurring dreams about traumatic events
Your nightmares may seem like just a repeat of the trauma, similar to flashbacks. But if you look closely, there are other details added. Your dreams may be so bad, disgusting, or frightening that you don’t want to go to sleep because you’re afraid of having another dream.
How could you possibly have anything to say to them? You just want to get rid of them.
Dreams are messages from your unconscious mind. It’s hard to believe, but they are trying to help you heal the scars left by your trauma. However, dreams and nightmares can be very scary.
That’s why it’s important to get help from someone who knows how to convey that meaning.
You especially need help from someone who specializes in childhood trauma. You are probably afraid of trusting someone. Especially if you have previously failed treatment (or if you have previously failed treatment).
Trust isn’t easy to gain when you’ve been traumatized as a child.
So what can you do now?
There are some great treatments for PTSD. Psychotherapy with someone who specializes in childhood trauma is the best option.
Therapists trained in psychoanalysis or psychoanalytic psychotherapy are best able to understand the unconscious meaning of your symptoms. Once you get to the root cause, you won’t continue to suffer.
It’s important to remember that what childhood trauma has done to your mind does not define you. It’s not you and it’s not permanent. All these effects are subject to change.
You tried to take control. run away. Avoidance. These are the methods you used yourself.
When trauma results in distrust of people and relationships, relying on yourself is the most important option.
If so, you are alone with your fears, fear, and panic. I had no choice but to suppress my feelings. However, this ends up being a different form of flight, with only symptoms remaining.
If you are willing to take the risk of therapy, your therapist needs to understand how difficult it is for you to trust and take it seriously.
Psychotherapy then becomes a place where you are no longer alone with your fears, terrors, and worries. And since these symptoms are primarily psychological, they can change with help.
You will learn to trust again, get to the root of your fears, and grieve the hurt and trauma you have experienced. You will learn to be safe again, which is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
Life could be better. The effects of childhood trauma don’t have to last forever.
Dr. Sandra Cohen I am a Los Angeles-based psychologist and psychoanalyst who specializes in working with survivors of abuse and childhood trauma.
This article was originally published at: Dr. Sandra E. Cohen. Reprinted with permission from the author.