A woman admitted she was extremely distraught after finding out about her boyfriend’s affair with one of his co-workers.
She posted on the subreddit r/AITAH, revealing that she felt extremely disrespected and angry after it was revealed that her boyfriend has a “work wife.”
She walked out of a baby shower in anger after finding out that her boyfriend had a woman “employing his wife for work” and that her boyfriend was paying for her meals.
In Deleted Reddit postShe explained that her boyfriend’s coworker was throwing a baby shower and she agreed to attend the party with him. Everything started off well, and the party was attended mainly by three of her boyfriend’s coworkers and their families.
“When my boyfriend tried to introduce me to one of the girls, his male coworker said, ‘That’s his wife!’ and we all laughed,” she recalled. “My boyfriend didn’t really laugh, but [did it] He bowed his head in embarrassment and seemed to know it was wrong. I didn’t laugh at all and just looked at them both.
Not picking up on the hint that she was not enjoying this conversation, her boyfriend’s male coworker went on to explain that everyone knew her boyfriend and the woman were in a “work relationship” and “effectively married.” She even learned that whenever one of them was off work, the other always seemed depressed and that her boyfriend was buying the woman lunch.
Her boyfriend’s “work wife” tried to interject, smiling at his girlfriend and assuring her that he was “okay,” before telling her boyfriend that she thought she was beautiful and that he was lucky to have her.
At this point the woman didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to make a scene or embarrass anyone so she just continued to smile politely, but eventually she whispered to her boyfriend that she was leaving and he tried to get her to stay but she refused.
“He never told me he had a ‘work wife’ and I hate even thinking about it. Maybe everyone was asking where I went and it was awkward for him to lie and say I’d come home early when everyone knew the real reason for my sudden departure. He told me to wait and discuss it later, knowing I’d only make him more upset if I did,” she added.
Most people acknowledge that opinions are divided on whether “workplace marriage” is appropriate.
a Poll conducted by Redfield & Wilton Strategies for Newsweek It turns out that more than half of millennials are against such relationships in the workplace: In a poll of 1,500 U.S. adults, 57% of millennials aged 25-34 said it was unacceptable to have a workplace spouse.
Only 18 percent of people in this age group said they thought coworker marriages were OK, 17 percent said it depends, and 8 percent said they didn’t know. The survey also found that most Gen Zers and Baby Boomers are OK with such relationships: Only 39 percent of Gen Zers and 40 percent of Baby Boomers said having a work partner is a problem.
Of the adults surveyed, 21% said they think it’s OK to have a workplace spouse, while 45% said such relationships are inappropriate. While the majority of workplace relationships or “marriages” are platonic and a nobler way of claiming a coworker is a friend, that line shouldn’t be crossed in the first place. Using the terms “work husband” or “work wife” when you have a spouse or significant other in real life is a disrespect to the relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with forming opposite-sex friendships with people at work, but professional and personal boundaries should be clear. The woman who shared her experience on Reddit felt betrayed and understandably angry about the nature of her relationship with her boyfriend.
While it might have been different if she’d been introduced to his coworkers as a friend, implying that he was having an entirely separate relationship with another woman was crossing the line. And her boyfriend’s reaction to the whole affair made it even worse, as if he’d never seen a problem with the situation in the first place.
It’s time to retire terms like “office wife” and “office husband” and instead simply refer to coworkers as friends, especially since such terms can blur boundaries and cause unnecessary conflict.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news and lifestyle writer whose articles explore contemporary issues and experiences.