Best friends — but not necessarily forever.
Two years ago, Gen Z workers made headlines by quietly quitting their jobs, a fancy term for subsistence, also known as living up to their wages.
Now they do the same with friendships and relationships that are less than perfect — relationships they no longer truly feel.
in TikTok Clips In a post last month, content creator and mother Melissa Ann Marie detailed her own experience with “quietly quitting” friendships in her life.
“There’s only so much you can give to people who don’t give you the same energy back,” she said in the video, adding that she’s now in her 30s and has been through a number of breakups with friends.
She is currently at a point in her life where she “cannot afford to waste time on nonsense.”
“Breaking up with a friend feels weird because it’s not like a romantic relationship that has to end because you’re dating other people, it’s more like it has to slowly fade away because you’re no longer making each other a priority,” she explained.
The hardest part, she added, is that the breakup is “not treated like a real breakup” and there is often no “break-up” conversation.
in Subsequent clipsthe author detailed the reasons she’d had to effectively break up with a variety of friends, from gossip to a lack of effort, and viewers agreed with her thoughts on “quietly breaking up” friendships.
“I’ve cut off most of my friendships right now. I feel lonely but positive,” one user wrote.
“No one spoke up so I stopped speaking up myself. It’s sad but I’ve finally learned my lesson,” agreed another.
“While losing lasting connections can lead to feelings of isolation and being left behind, quietly quitting may also be a healthy way for millennials and Gen Z to declutter their social lives and foster new, richer relationships,” said clinical psychologist Daniel Glaser. Business Insider.
He noted that there is an increasing “innate urge to disconnect” among millennials and Gen Z, which could be “stifling” personal growth.
Narrowing your social circle can open up newer and better connections, but it also has drawbacks.
‘Quiet break-ups’ friendships should not be used as a way to avoid conflict, warned psychotherapist Mark Vermeyer, co-founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy.
He told Business Insider that instead of breaking up, they should “address” the issues within their friendship and resolve them or “put an end to the relationship.”
And needless to say, the person who “quietly quits” may feel like they’ve been ghosted.
“The act of distancing yourself without any explanation can understandably leave lingering discomfort and unanswered questions,” Sophie Mort, a clinical psychologist who also works as a mental health specialist at Headspace, told Business Insider.
“The person who initiates distancing may feel regret or remorse, especially if they did so to avoid conflict. This can leave them feeling later on that they missed an opportunity to resolve the problem.”