Editor’s note: This is part of YourTango’s Opinion section, where individual authors offer a variety of perspectives on a wide range of political, social and personal commentary on issues.
Written by Alana Sara
Everyone has heard of it. Some of you may have said this before. Some people probably believe that.
“I’m marrying my best friend!”
You see it on Facebook, you hear it on TV shows, everywhere. I’m very happy for everyone. That’s really true. But I would never say such words. Here’s why:
My best friend and I graduated college together, grew up together, and supported each other through difficult times in life. I watched her date her first few boyfriends and move to Seattle with her current boyfriend. She has seen me go on dates with a few losers and was there when I called her crying at 1am.
I understand that I haven’t found “the one” yet, but he will never replace her.
I trust both my boyfriend and my best friend 100%, but there are certain roles each of them play in my life that I can’t share.
for example:
- When you have a bad period or need ice cream stats.boyfriend
- When you want to consult about women’s body concerns.Close friend
- Please tell me if the dress I’m wearing is nice.Close friend
- Pop the pimple on your back.boyfriend
- Complaining to someone when they don’t want to fix it.Close friend
- Please model my lingerie.boyfriend
- My boyfriend complains that he annoys me.Close friend
- My best friend complains about how annoying I am.boyfriend
- Let my inner mean girl out without fear of judgment.Close friend
- Help me hang the photos on the gallery wall.boyfriend
Of course, these are completely subjective. Maybe your best friend is good at popping the pimples on your back (Ariel, don’t worry, I’m not going to make you do that), or your boyfriend. may be the cool solution to your embarrassing girlish body problems. But I feel this way.
Another thing to mention is what happens if the person is not available. What would you do if your boyfriend had a panic attack at work over something as trivial as usual? Hey, I call him my best friend! Or vice versa. What if you can’t call your best friend because of the time difference between Seattle and Washington DC? You can always call your boyfriend.
Also, if your best friend is your fiancée, who will be your maid of honor?! Okay, I’m getting a little crazy here…
Have you ever been told by a man that he needs some “man time”? Well, it’s exactly the same situation. He needs guy friend time to talk about farts, soccer, or other things guys talk about when us women aren’t around…I don’t know. that’s ok.
I think boyfriends/fiancés/husbands can be best friends, but to me they are never “my best friends.” That role has been and will continue to be given to my best friend (a girl).
Side note: I don’t plan on getting married anytime soon, so only time will tell if I end up marrying Ariel…
What do you think about this issue? Have you married/dated “your best friend”?
Alanna Sarah is a freelance writer and contributor to BlogHer.