The simplest definition of a bad guy I’ve heard is that he’s a bad guy for you. I like that definition. Very applicable.
The problem is that while falling in love with a bad guy may be fun, bad guys are the junk food of the dating world. It’s good for a quick snack when you’re in a pinch, but it’s not good for your health in the long run. And, as anyone with dating advice knows, end up in a toxic relationship It is something that should be avoided at all costs.
Here are 10 behaviors of annoying no-good guys and one of the big reasons why women stay with them.
1. He can’t finish it.
He may call you or go out, but when the time comes, he will be annoyed. Although he often comes up with insincere excuses later on, he somehow manages to make up for it so they can meet again.
If you call him out on it, he’ll just apologize a little or act like you’re making a fuss about it.
2. He is a loner.
You haven’t seen his friends or family, but he seems dedicated to keeping it that way. He doesn’t talk much about either group. When asked about his family, he paused and changed his subject.
3. He throws you off balance.
He tends to run “hot” and then “cold”.No action is too small for him to be unpredictable. One minute you’re in love, and the next you think he’s completely gone.
There’s no discernible pattern in the interactions between you, so you can’t understand what’s going on. I try to analyze his behavior while talking with my friend late at night.
4. He seems to be chasing a herd of women.
Even if you have never seen or met these women, you can feel them. He seems interested enough in you when you’re around; I feel like another woman is waiting In the wings.
He may be intentionally giving you this impression, or you may feel this way.
5. He has a lot of baggage.
An abused childhood? check. A terrible past love? check. A story about “misunderstandings”? check.
Bad children often make us think that if we can get closer to them, maybe with our love we can somehow “fix” them and take away their deep suffering. This is a brilliant technique because he can make you so uncomfortable that you want to make excuses for his bad behavior or stay there, whether he’s in pain or not.
If he’s too raw from his last relationship to call you or go through with his plans, you might be stuck with the wrong guy.
6. He is allergic to planning.
Bad boys seek “bigger and better deals” when making plans. This is why he is so resistant to clarifying things in advance.
He doesn’t care about scheduling dates because he’s in a position to meet other people or cancel if he doesn’t want to see you. He likes to “surprise” you by flying down the hem of his pants when he feels the urge.
7. He encourages you to “hang out” a lot.
He’s not interested in “dates” per se. He would rather “hang out” at his house or yours, with less financial investment, formality, and obligations.
It’s easy to get intimate when you’re watching at his house bewitched Even better than eating at Le Cirque.
8. He tells you he’s too conflicted/hurt/busy for a relationship.
Bad men are always “conflicted” about relationships. He’ll wax poetic about how he’s “incapable of being in a relationship,” but he’ll keep calling you and trying to be with you. This is a classic case of him doing one thing and saying another.
He may make you feel like you’re the only one for him, while saying he’s “just too hurt” to start a relationship. If someone says they don’t want a relationship with you, believe them and run away quickly.
9. He is selfish and indifferent.
You never feel like he’s putting your needs above his own. He is selfish and indifferent to your feelings.
When you get angry about his unpredictable behavior or whatever, he shakes it off. He doesn’t seem to care that you’re angry at him or that he’s responsible for causing the problem.
10. It’s hot in the bedroom, so she stays with him.
The bad guy is a professional at his job. That’s a big reason why women get into it in the first place. Many good men are great in bed, so prowess in the bedroom is not the only indicator that a man is a bad guy.
However, when sexual bravado is combined with other signs on this list, it can indicate that you are in trouble.
Elizabeth Stone is a relationship coach. Attract the One and lux self. Her work has been featured in Zoosk, PopSugar, The Good Men Project, Bustle, Ravishly, SheKnows, Mind’s Journal, and more.