When your parents get older, it’s natural to open up your home to them and ask them to take care of you. But if you live with your partner, shouldn’t they be involved in the decision as well?
One man invited his parents to live with him without consulting his girlfriend first.
in AITA Reddit Post, one man shared how he and his girlfriend (both 34 years old) had been together for about 5-7 months. They are living together in his house and have started talking about marriage.
He explained that his parents were older and had recently moved to the United States, and suggested that they move closer together, to which they agreed. But he didn’t just want them to live nearby. He wanted them to be close enough to take care of him. So he invited them to live with him in his house.
Taking care of elderly parents is a natural and noble act, but men should have involved their girlfriends in the decision.
A man told his girlfriend: “He is the one who decides who will live in his house.”
When his girlfriend found out, she was not very happy and stated that he could not invite anyone else to live with him without talking to her first. He replied that his parents were not just “strangers.”
Nevertheless, she shared her extreme discomfort and opposition to the idea and asked him why he decided to move them. he said to her: I’m not asking you to do that either. ”
Man claims she protested his efforts to care for her parents, claiming he “values them more than her” and that they should be sent to a senior living center. did. Needless to say, it didn’t work. “It goes against my values to abandon my parents as soon as they get old.”
He confessed that he became angry and told her to “mind your own business” and “I decide who lives in the house, so don’t interfere in my affairs.”
People were quick to point out his mishandling of the situation.
The majority of Reddit users agreed that the man was wrong to ignore his girlfriend’s feelings.
“It might be your home. That might give you the impetus to allow your parents to stay. But your partner also has wants, desires, needs, feelings. And your partner “It must be a big shock to suddenly go from living with your partner to living with your partner and their parents,” one person commented. “You didn’t even discuss it. You just decided you had the power to do it and did it. Then you basically told her, [be quiet] When she expressed her concerns,” another person noted.
It can be difficult to prioritize both family and relationships. It was not a mistake that this man wanted to take care of his parents, but he did not see the big picture.
His girlfriend was left out of his decision to invite his parents over. To him, he was just modeling the behavior of a good son, but to her, she was being told that their relationship had no weight or value.
The man’s actions disrespected his girlfriend’s feelings and showed his partner to be insensitive.
This situation provided an opportunity for the man to openly discuss his desire to care for his parents with his girlfriend, allowing her to be involved in his decisions. If both parties’ feelings were heard and respected, they could have found a solution together.
Instead, the man eliminated her completely. He didn’t feel the need to ask his girlfriend how this decision made her feel.
If he was serious about marrying his girlfriend, this situation would reflect his struggle with communication and conflict resolution. His lack of respect showed selfish and one-sided behavior.
A true marriage is a partnership between two people who come together to walk the journey of life as one. Successful marriages thrive on mutual respect and a true appreciation of each other’s feelings.
The house may be his and he may be paying the mortgage himself, but he was still wrong to ignore his girlfriend and not give her a say in his decision to invite his parents to move in with him.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team based in Orlando, Florida. She covers lifestyle, human interest, and spirituality topics.