It is a common misconception that there is only one type of scammer. There are actually three types of scammers.
around it 40% of married people cheat, which means that approximately 40 percent of marriages are affected by infidelity. It’s very heartbreaking.
Whether it’s a physical or emotional relationship, it’s important to change the misconception that everyone who cheats is the same and start dealing with it correctly.
Since my heart broke six years ago when I played the less prestigious role of “the other woman,” I have devoured information about infidelity from two sources. One is a certified professional who counsels people on infidelity-related issues, and the other is an unfaithful person. themselves.
great marriage therapist, Dr. Caroline MaddenFor example, I have written extensively about infidelity. Her book for cheating wives is worth your time to read. In it, she divides scammers into different categories.
According to experts, there are only three types of scammers:
1. Abusive scammers
This person is physically abusive, tells them what to cook, how to look, what to wear, tells all of their mistresses the same, has control issues. This is the person who is there. Their behavior may be indicative of deeper psychological issues, and they are unlikely to realize or care that they are hurting others.
You may convince them to go to therapy, but you may end up charming the therapist so thoroughly that it seems like you have a problem. Or maybe you’ll just pay everyone lots of lip service and learn more covert ways to cheat next time.
It is highly unlikely that there will be sincere regret or a desire to change. For your safety and well-being, you must leave these people.
In some cases, this type of scammer can change, but they need to recognize the harm they have done, seek help and decide for themselves to change.
This cheater is just some cheaters, not all. You need to carefully determine which type you are dealing with. Otherwise, you risk abandoning a potential relationship.
2. Scammers who can’t face the problem
Many of these marriages end up in infidelity because, as much as you may not like this news, both partners entered into the marriage without the mental health to survive 50 years of marriage.
Both partners are basically good people. When they got married, and indeed, they did it in a good way until the end. They both care and neither of them wants to hurt anyone.
However, their childhoods did not equip them with the skills to maintain love, companionship, and friendships for long.
There are countless ways this can happen. As the months pass, the energy of the new relationship fades.
Then you’re exhausted from work, kids, and daily responsibilities. Emotional problems from childhood return and create distance in the marriage.
Infidelity occurs because one spouse puts their own needs above commitment and respect for their spouse.
Often couples struggle and struggle to communicate with each other, creating a rift between them.
Instead of turning to infidelity, a cheating spouse is unable to face their dissatisfaction in the marriage and may file for divorce, suggest marriage counseling, or continue to try to communicate about marital problems. I don’t.
However, you might consider checking out the mountains of books by marriage and relationship experts to find out how to get in touch with your spouse. This takes a lot of courage, but sadly many cheaters don’t have enough courage to face their own problems and relationship problems. Instead, they choose to cheat.
This person will begin to express frustration when their spouse is not around. “My wife’s like this…” “My husband’s like that…” That’s how they involve the person they’re having an affair with.
This type of cheater is often afraid of leaving the marriage because they don’t want to hurt anyone. They don’t want to hurt their spouse or children by leaving home.
They don’t want to hurt their spouse anymore, but they don’t know what else to do to deal with this situation. Still, they are miserable. This situation can be saved.
Sometimes you find couples who are just not compatible and would be better off finding someone else. But most of the time, love and goodwill still exist.
If everyone involved can look at their part in how this has developed, you will be able to make great strides in your own personal growth and in your marital love and friendship. Once you’re done crying, try working through your emotional issues together. (Step one is to hire a good counselor.)
There is hope if the cheating partner is willing to address the underlying relationship issues, communicate openly about the issue at hand, and be willing to seek help.
3. Nursing care scammer
This type of cheater has a spouse who has fallen victim to a chronic illness. A healthy spouse has the choice whether to stay and keep his vows “in sickness and in health.”
They don’t want their spouse to suffer and die alone, but caregiving can be very difficult. It will change your life, but not necessarily for the better.
Some sick spouses give their partner permission to seek intimacy elsewhere, but others may not be mentally clear enough to have this type of discussion.
In any case, Healthy Partners Seek Another Relationship While caring for a sick spouse. This kind of cheating is a sad truth of mortality.
When investigating the circumstances of an affair, you will almost always consider one of three possibilities as to why your partner cheated.
By identifying the type of cheating that is occurring, you may be able to help the cheated partner deal with the situation constructively.
You are not alone in experiencing domestic violence.
National Domestic Violence Hotline Approximately 24 people in the United States are reported to be victims of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner every minute. Throughout the year, more than 12 million women and men suffer from domestic violence and abuse.
Experiencing domestic violence can happen to anyone, and it is not a reflection of who you are.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines domestic violence, domestic abuse, and relationship abuse as “a pattern of behavior used by one partner in an intimate relationship to maintain power and control over the other person.” I am. Anyone can suffer from domestic violence, regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. According to NDVH, nearly 3 in 10 female girlfriends and 1 in 10 male girlfriends in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by a partner.
If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic violence or violence, there are resources available to help.
There are ways to ask for help as safely as possible. For more information, resources, legal advice and related links, please visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Anyone suffering from domestic violence should call the number below. National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). If you don’t feel safe speaking, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474 or log on to thehotline.org.
PD reader Although she is a Level 1 student at the NCGR School of Astrology, her work focuses on spirituality, lifestyle, and relationship topics.she runs Unfaithful: A perspective on relationships with third parties Moderate.
This article was originally published at: Medium.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.