Dear Annie: Since we got married, my husband tends to give information to his sister and mother before I do. The information is that the date her husband will be out of town for work is first told to her family and then to me. Before he told me, he told his sister first that we were moving to another state for work.
He also does things like he wants to fix my sister’s car before he fixes mine. He didn’t tell me anything about his family, so I didn’t get a chance to get to know them. When I questioned him about this, he said I hated his family.
We have been through this situation for 16 years. I want to know if I’m wrong in wanting my husband to take care of his wife and kids before he takes care of his mother and sister or if it’s better to say nothing. ? — annoyed
For those who are annoyed: Of course you should say something if it bothers you. Communication is a very important factor in a marriage, and if your husband feels that he is communicating better and more often with his sister or mother, there are issues that need to be addressed. Talk to him and ask him why. Does he feel criticized by you and not by his mother or sister?Is he afraid of you? Or maybe he just takes you for granted. Whatever the issues, a healthy marriage is a partnership that requires communication.
Dear Annie: We’d like to respond to a recent letter of concern from a reader about receiving a gift from a teenage family member and not receiving a thank you letter. I don’t have any suggestions to help her situation (I’m in a similar situation with my adopted granddaughter right now), but I’m a young woman struggling with how to teach her children to be good citizens. I have a suggestion for parents. You’ are a big part of that.
We have two grown sons, ages 37 and 40. When they received money or other gifts from someone, I always said the gift wasn’t really theirs until a thank you note was sent in the mail (of course by mail. !). ). They were then free to choose the gift. However, I always advised them to save money on gifts.
A few years ago, when we both graduated from college, we had a big party. They received many monetary gifts. That same night, when we got home, we both sat down and wrote letters of thanks. I was (and still am) very proud of them. This is a simple approach to the thank you problem and has worked very well for us. I hope this helps some parents. thank you! — experienced parents
Dear experienced parents: This is a great tip. Congratulations on teaching your sons to appreciate and be considerate of humans.
Please send questions to Annie Lane at: dearannie@creators.com.
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