Dating can be complicated, but relationships with co-workers get even more complicated.
As work and personal life interact, things can become chaotic if not handled properly. If office romances are not handled properly with due care and professionalism, they can lead to challenges that can damage your and your partner’s careers.
Therefore, it’s understandable why many people brush off their crush on a co-worker rather than pursuing a potential relationship. But not all office romances are doomed to failure. That’s why we asked Rappler readers about the do’s and don’ts when dating co-workers, and how others can keep both their careers and relationships on track.
Do: Know your company’s policy regarding office romances.
First, check your company’s handbook for rules about dating between employees. While companies rarely ban dating entirely, some companies still have strict no-dating policies.
There are also usually restrictions on certain combinations, such as managers and subordinates. In many cases, dating someone below or above you in the office hierarchy can create a serious conflict of interest, regardless of whether the company has a policy against that person or not, so raise your eyebrows. It will be hidden. Problems can arise, such as managers picking their favorite person on the team, or worse, relationships being affected when someone underperforms at work.
Don’t: Try to keep the relationship secret.
Even if your company doesn’t have rules against romance between employees, it’s best to let upper management know about your relationship to cover the grounds. It’s too early to reveal that you’re going on a date or two with your co-worker. Especially only after the relationship becomes serious and exclusive, as it can end up being temporary.
Bosses aren’t usually familiar with the personal issues of employee relationships, but office romances are different as they can have legal and ethical implications. In some cases, working arrangements can and should be made because of the relationship, such as transferring departments or signing a confirmation that the relationship is consensual. There is also.
Office romances tend to become the subject of rumors, so it’s best to ask your boss directly. This also allows you to control the message rather than spreading exaggerated and false details about your relationship. Not only does it remove the burden of keeping your love affair a secret, but it also assures higher-ups that your love life won’t affect your work performance.
Also, keep in mind that going public about your relationship doesn’t have to be a big announcement. You shouldn’t go into detail about how your relationship started, but you shouldn’t deny it if asked about it.
Don’t: Move too fast.
You may feel like you already know your partner well if you spend a lot of time together at work. They may have been attracted to each other because of what they had in common and how closely they worked together. But how much are you sure you know about them apart from their professional persona?
You may have bonded while complaining about stifling work rules or annoying customers, but what do you talk about when you’ve run out of work conversations? You may start to lose interest in the topic. That’s why you should consider getting to know them more before committing to each other.
Make sure you both have interests outside of work and that you can also agree on things unrelated to office life. It’s best to maintain personal friendships outside of common friendships at work and personal hobbies to avoid spending too much time with each other and getting burnt out. This will not only help you both stay hooked on your relationship, but also make sure that you both maintain your personal lives.
Also, don’t rush into major milestones, such as seeing family or moving in together, just because you’ve already spent a lot of time together.
What to do: Establish ground rules
To keep your relationship from getting in the way of your work, it’s best to openly discuss boundaries and scenarios that might put you in a compromising situation.
How should you treat each other at work? Do you always want to spend lunchtime together? Should you arrive at the office and leave the office together? Should you show affection towards your colleagues? Should you work on the same project together? Need to talk about matters? What if you’re competing for the same position or client? What if your partner gets reprimanded for skipping work?
Establishing these ground rules will ensure that you and your partner are on the same page about how to remain professional while dating. Additionally, doing this early in a relationship can help you determine whether pursuing romance is good for you long-term.
Do: Discuss how to deal with the breakup.
The last thing new couples want to talk about is breaking up. However, when it comes to office romances, it’s best to plan for all the worst-case scenarios and know what to do if they actually happen.
How do you treat each other when you break up? What if you broke up so badly that you couldn’t stand being in the same space together? Would you remove yourself from a project that your ex-partner was working on? How would this affect your work productivity and office situation? If your boss is your ex-boss, will it affect your promotion?
Be sure to not only know how to handle this situation, but also have a plan for how you will communicate the split to your colleagues and management.
By starting this conversation, you can both assess the potential consequences of an office romance and how it could affect your career. If some of you don’t think the relationship is worth the career risk, it’s best to end the relationship early, before someone develops a deeper attachment.
What to do: Prioritize your work and focus on your career goals
One of the main concerns about office romance is that it can be a distraction for employees. However, remember that the rule of thumb when dating a colleague is work comes first.
During office hours, don’t have hour-long conversations or exchange emails when you should be preparing for meetings or working on assignments. This way, you can avoid penalties for inappropriate behavior in the workplace.
Also, be sure to stick to your career goals. You don’t want to end up turning down a promotion just because you don’t know how it will affect your partner. If you end up sacrificing your career just to make your relationships work, it’s best to recalibrate how healthy your relationships are.
Do: Act with caution and be considerate of your colleagues.
Even if you’ve already gone public about your relationship, it’s best to keep all the nitty-gritty details of your relationship a secret from you and your partner.
Always maintain a professional and appropriate demeanor in the office and at company-related events. Don’t flaunt your romance at work. Flirting can make co-workers uncomfortable. Respect each other’s individuality in the workplace and give each other space from time to time.
And this isn’t limited to physical displays of affection at work. Avoid personal arguments, banter, and insider jokes when you’re with co-workers.
Refrain from sharing intimate details of your relationship, no matter how casual or joking. Co-workers at the office may be interested in how the romance developed, but remember that there’s no need to flaunt it.
It’s best to avoid complaining about your relationship problems, especially to your work circle, as they know the person you’re talking about very well. Hanging out dirty laundry can lead to your partner choosing sides when you’re in a conflict, or worse, your entire company will be yours when you break up. You may disagree with your partner.
What not to do: Let your relationships affect your work, or vice versa.
At work, it’s best to treat each other like any other colleague. Don’t let your lover’s quarrel affect your work performance. Bringing your conflict into a work-related discussion is also unprofessional.
The same goes for not bringing disagreements at work into your personal life. Just because you got reprimanded at the office and had a bad day at work doesn’t give you the right to lash out at your partner at home.
Another way to differentiate between work and personal life is to make sure you both don’t get too caught up in work. Considering you know the same people and are working on similar projects, you might be tempted to keep chatting about office gossip. But don’t forget that you also need to talk about something else.
Maintaining professional boundaries with your partner reduces the complexity of your career and relationships.
Don’t: Don’t stay in a relationship just because it might affect your career.
Ending a relationship is hard. Especially when you know that it can affect other aspects of your life as well.
However, it is best to end the relationship already when it becomes clear that there are disagreements that prevent each other from working together as a couple.
– Rappler.com