Even the shyest woman can learn how to open up and find love. Author Eve Marx Read My Hips: The Art of Cheating, there are outrageous pick-up lines that can help any woman land a successful date or at least come out of her shell. Flirting is more than just a clichéd pick-up line; it’s also about reading body language and knowing what a man likes. Here are some tips from the author himself.
YourTango: Have you ever wondered if you’re qualified to write a cheating guide?
Eve: No, not at all. There are many other books that make me feel anxious about writing, but books about flirting are different. I’m a cheater. I’ve been a cheater all my life. You could say that I wrote this book from my daily life.
YT: While reading this book, I felt like you were cataloging all my secrets. Don’t write it down, I thought.
This is the kind of book that could be dangerous if it falls into enemy hands. A woman cannot give up all her weapons of love.
YT: What tips would you give to someone who is just starting out or wants to get better at cheating?
E: She needs to decide what her flirting style will be. The first should match her personality. “Is she shy?” Is she a comedian? Is she the interrogator type? There are also cheaters that I call denial cheaters. Many men are very interested in women who don’t cheat. If you are an expert in flirting, you are versatile with different styles. But if there’s only one good thing about it, stick with it.
YT: Are there any key moves that work across styles?
E: Place your hand on his arm. touch the man Electricity is generated when connected. You’ll also know right away if he’s interested in you. You shouldn’t flirt on the wrong tree. That’s a waste of energy.
YT: Is there anything else?
E: When I sit next to someone, I like to sit so that they can see everything first. “Look at me.” And when they get warm, I like to turn away. Then it’s up to them to say or do something to make me look at them again. This particular element may seem like a small actress, but there’s nothing wrong with that.
YT: Is the biggest flirt in the room the one dancing at the bar?
E: No, if your eyes scan the entire bar with a moving camera, the winner is the one who has a one-on-one conversation with a guy.
YT: Do you think good-looking people are the best flirts?
E: No, I sometimes think that good-looking people are the worst cheaters because they don’t need to learn any skills. I think the best cheating partner is someone who is smart and has a well-developed personality.
YT: In this book, you talk a lot about flashy clothing. Are you a flirty dresser?
E: yes. When I went to a cocktail party the other day, I couldn’t help but say to my friend, “Is that too much cleavage?” But it’s not just about breasts. If you don’t have one, that’s okay. I know a lot of men who like that look. There’s always someone there. However, I have a very casual clothing style of low-cut jeans and cowboy boots. Wearing cowboy boots really makes you feel powerful. And if you are confident, you will be able to do your best at flirting.
YT: Looking back at your pantheon of flirts, what stands out as your best flirt?
E: I remember flirting with a guy who was selling produce in the back of his truck. I saw him several times a week. He was always in the same place. We made eye contact. And one day he was wiggling his fingers and beckoning me. He held the most perfect strawberry in his hand. I had just come up and he thought I was going to take it with my finger. I did not do it. I ate it from his hand. Well, we’ve been out for about 8 months.
YT: Oh my God. What are the latest innovations in flirting?
E: Typing cheating is something that’s happening these days. It removes the element of who is attractive and who is not. You can’t see it.
YT: Are there any IM movements you would like to share?
E: I don’t like relying on these little smileys. I like to sign up or leave before it gets hot and heavy. I like to leave it hanging.
YT: So what did your husband think about you flirting with strangers to look up the book?
E: Well, my husband himself is a huge cheater. That’s how I met him. He and I were having a blast.
YT: Has cheating ever complicated your marriage?
E: At times, I think it’s enriching. I think couples should flirt with each other first. Especially if you have children, you have to try harder to remember what you saw in each other. That could mean playing games. The idea is to get in separate cars, meet somewhere, and pretend we don’t know each other. But I like seeing her husband flirting with other women. Because that’s what makes her husband attractive.
YT: What about unmarried couples? Should they be allowed to cheat with other people?
E: Two things usually happen to a woman’s flirtatiousness quotient when she starts a serious relationship. They either stop flirting because they feel it’s wrong, or they feel truly relaxed and liberated because of the safety of the relationship. Now they can flirt without any punishment.
YT: Which celebrity is good at cheating?
E: Cameron Diaz, Debra Messing.
YT: What about everyone?
E: Matthew McConaughey, Ashton Kutcher.
YT: Why do you think cheating partners have a bad reputation?
E: Because we live in a culture where there is a love-hate relationship with intimacy. we love it, we love it, we love it. We condemn it, condemn it, condemn it.
YT: What causes bad cheating?
E: A bad cheater is someone who sends out a really important message but doesn’t get it across. Don’t promise more than you can deliver. First, do no harm.
YT: So, do you believe in playing hard?
E: I think it will be useful. Everything your mother said to you, “Don’t hide your heart,” is true. I also strongly believe in the saying, “Follow him until he catches you.” Her mother told me that. Her idea was to “set your sights on a guy and chase him, but somehow make it look like he’s chasing you.”
YT: That’s a very southern idea!
E: Oh, and Southerners can flirt around Northeastern girls. Northern women, like Ali McGraw’s character in Love Story, are like cheating partners. But that’s kind of cheating.
YT: Who taught you to flirt?
E: When I was little, my mother was washing my hair and she sang, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” She was very flirtatious. My mother was married four times.
YT: I see, you inherited that.
E: She always married rich and older men. They would get sick and die, and she would just find another child. She was a huge cheater.
YT: Do you think anyone can learn how to flirt?
E: Yes, if they want. It’s one of those things that people say they want to do. People say they want to quit smoking. They say they want to lose weight. They say they want to learn to flirt. You must apply by yourself. Some people are genetically better off than others.
I feel like a lot of flirting is intuitive. It just believes that it is prey. You are the one to leave. You are in control.
It comes down to a question of confidence. Much of your daily life is working to undermine your confidence, which is another reason why you need to flirt to build confidence.
Samantha Lagoon is a freelance writer and former YourTango contributor.