Most marriage advice says that the secret to a long-lasting relationship is to love and marry your best friend.
What about my husband?he is my number one reliable friend.he is mine interesting friend.he is my number one A faithful friend.he is my number one genuine friend.he Frank, resourcefuland Patient friend.he is also my best lover good looking friend.
But he’s not mine the best friend.
Should I marry my best friend? Over the years, I’ve watched my fair share of romantic movies and attended countless weddings. Woven into each of the fictional and real versions was a revelation or declaration that the bride and groom were to marry their best friend.
It’s so beautiful and emotional to announce that you’re going to marry your best friend, but when I stood in front of my husband, the words just didn’t come out of my mouth.
And when he promised to love me and our daughter forever, he never called me his best friend, the woman he intended to spend the rest of his life with.
It would have been so nice for both of us to say it was a lie.
My husband and I already have close friends.
They are people who have been an intricate part of our lives long before he and I met. They are the ones who have been by our side at different times in our lives, filled with love, new life, and loss.
Even when he and I were standing together, they always stood with us, cheered us on, supported us on the sidelines to give us the strength to help each other.
These friends have also been by our side the night my husband and I stood in front of each other and confessed our love, and many times afterward when the decision to love felt too difficult.
In fact, it was my two best friends who introduced me to my husband. They watched my eyes light up every time I talked about him, heard me gush about my first kiss, and the first time he and I broke up (and got back together). ), even when I cried, he stayed up and stayed with me.
When I gave birth, my best friend came to visit me at the hospital and decided to stay out all day and night to play with me and my toddler. They filed divorce papers with me. When my brother got sick, they sat with me and my parents in the hospital.
When a woman in the cosmetics section of a department store went too far, she helped me remove the makeup from my face. They made my eyeshadow and helped me choose what to wear. They took me to a club, smiled when I ordered a Shirley Temple, and woke up the next morning and went to church with them.
My best friends helped me plan a surprise party for my boyfriend, a surprise dinner for my mother, and a farewell party for my brother.
When my daughter turned 2, we spent all day together at Disneyland, and when my now husband adopted her and we wanted to celebrate, we stayed up all night decorating and baking cookies.
They attended my graduation, took me to Las Vegas for the first time (and respected the saying “What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas”).
My best friends hurt me and I hurt them, but in the end we always chose love and each other.
And one day you will have a boyfriend. Alternatively, they can get his one, or you can get his one too (double date!). But no matter what, they will always be your best friend.
But over time, they won’t be the only ones guarding your secrets and innermost thoughts, or the only ones sharing a basket of curly fries with you.
Suddenly, deep down in your soul, you only see your best. They grow outside of you and give someone else room and space to learn your songs.
My best friend sang my songs until I met someone who loved me enough to remember my songs if I forgot the lyrics. And when he was sure he knew the words (and was ready to sing them for the rest of our lives), When I grabbed his hand, my friend let go of my hand and smiled.
I didn’t marry my best friend. Instead, I married my potential best friend.
Yet, the reality is that he will probably never be able to give me what my best friend has.
Yes, I can say anything to my husband, but I don’t know if I want to. There are some things I would like to discuss with her daughters. And we don’t pick up where we left off like friends. He and I are always constant, so there is no gap.
He and I have built a life together, and one aspect of that life is a friendship that stands the test of time, and not just because we publicly declare it. Rather, it’s probably because we built it over time and continued to build it long after the last song was played at the wedding.
And years later, we’re still dancing.
Krishann Briscoe is a child welfare expert and writer who has been featured on HuffPost, BuzzFeed, Disney Family, Yahoo, Mom.com, and more.