Dear Annie: My boyfriend of 5 months has a female co-worker named “Leslie”, whom he has known for 5 years and had a close relationship with. She is also a single mother of her two children under the age of 10.
I have met Leslie several times and she has always been kind. I have never felt threatened by my boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
Last week, he asked me to meet him at work and go to lunch together. Leslie was panicking when I got there. My sitter was sick and had to go home. Leslie was trying out everyone she knew who could babysit.
My boyfriend turned to me right in front of Leslie and asked if he could go to her apartment and stay with the kids until she finished work.
I don’t know these kids and they don’t know me. However, Leslie seemed fine with this.
I immediately felt angry. My boyfriend didn’t care that I had the day off, he let me ride there, and I had other plans besides lunch with him.
I said no. I apologized to Leslie and said I would not do something like this for several reasons. My boyfriend couldn’t understand why I wasn’t trying to help her.
We got into a big fight in the parking lot. I told him I didn’t appreciate being put on the spot like that and him being willing to use me to meet the needs of other women. — Am I right?
Mr. Right: Yes, you’re right that it was imprudent to put you on the spot to babysit your coworker’s kids when you were supposed to have lunch. That being said, remember that a good relationship is actually not about blaming the other person, but rather about compromise. If you had nothing to do and this single mother was in a pinch, yes, it would have been really kind of you to help her with the kids. But you’re right that it was a mistake to put you there. I had other plans on my day off, so I made the right decision to decline.
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