Dear Deirdre: My girlfriend tells me she wants me, but she has a really hard time showing it.
She doesn’t put in any effort, which makes me wonder if this relationship has any future.
I really don’t want to lose her, but I feel like she doesn’t give me a choice.
I’m 35 years old, she’s 45, and we’ve been dating for 10 months.
Looking back, I’m not sure she put that much energy into our relationship. I think maybe I was blinded by her own feelings for her and she never thought much about it.
But lately I’ve started noticing that it’s always me who plans dinner or buys her a present, and while I enjoy it, I realize how one-sided our relationship is. I did.
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I can’t remember the last time she arranged to meet me or the first time she messaged me.
Recently, I helped organize a surprise birthday party for her mother, but she didn’t invite me.
I feel like pulling teeth every day and I can’t understand why I’m not good enough for her.
I feel very low. Is there hope for our relationship?
Deirdre says: It’s obvious that your girlfriend doesn’t appreciate you, and I suspect she doesn’t take your relationship seriously at all.
Age differences don’t necessarily cause problems in a relationship, but it sounds like she’s more set in her ways and wants a more casual relationship.
If you want to work on something, you need to have a serious conversation with her and clarify your needs.
My support pack ‘Standing Up For Yourself’ will help you get your message across.
Give yourself a deadline for her to change. If she doesn’t change, you should probably accept that this isn’t right for you.