I wouldn’t say that the first guy I kissed was a bad kisser, per se (I’m sure someone would prefer that kind of tongue-twisting technique), but he was like me ( Or at least the way I imagined it) because we didn’t kiss. A kiss should be like that) It was terrible. I wish I could say that was my only bad kiss.
Before entering into intimacy, there is a kiss. For many people, kissing can make or break success. Because there’s nothing more frustrating than kissing someone who doesn’t kiss like you.
As someone who is more interested in lips than tongues and definitely a little bite thrown in there for fun, finding myself with people who are tongue-oriented kissers was a nightmare.
what are they thinking? Do they like to taste my molars? Actually, I should floss more.
First of all, it’s a struggle. You lean in and immediately realize that something is wrong. At first he seems to give in to their actions, but when he realizes that it is of no use to him, he only feels worse and a kiss-style fight begins.
You struggle to get your partner to match your kissing style, trying to find a rhythm that works for both of you, but your attempts to manipulate the situation fail. Hoping the other person picks up on your not-so-subtle sensitivities, you pull away and make jokes or make little comments like, “Oh, you kiss differently than I do.” Sometimes even.
You move on to round 2, hoping that your feelings about the scenario are clear, but you still end up in a losing battle.
No matter how many times you try, once you get used to someone’s way of kissing, it’s nearly impossible to break their kissing habits the same way they’ll break yours. I can’t help but notice.
In the end, you end up with two people silently fighting it out, frustrated by how disappointing everything was.
A smart person would throw in the towel and give up the good fight because it takes up too much energy. But if you really like the guy, you’ll try to talk it out, except for the craziness of his erratic kissing.
You try to hope that he learns and evolves and maybe understands what you’re putting up with. If you succeed, you deserve a medal. If not, you should stop now. It’s a tragedy, but life is full of tragedy.
But sometimes you find your perfect match, caught between people who don’t kiss like you.
Instead of leaning in and experiencing a kiss that will increase your dose of antidepressants for the next few weeks, find your soulmate to kiss.
There’s magic when your lips are firmly pressed together and your tongues pay just the right amount of attention to each other, as opposed to feeling like your tonsils are being examined. It’s as if the world moves right in line with how in sync you are.
You have achieved ultimate satisfaction, and if your partner has even half of your bedroom kissing skills, you know you can stay intimate until the sun comes up. That’s great, to say the least.
The point of this rambling? Just like us, we’ve all had experiences with kissers who don’t kiss. We all know the pain, the disappointment, and even the anger that comes with it. Especially if the person you’re kissing is overly hot, because oh, they need to be great kissers.
But for all you kiss lovers out there who don’t quite get your brand of kisses, there’s another kiss just around the corner that will blow your mind. The important thing is to never give up hope. Your kissing twins are there and you will find them.
Amanda Chatel is an essayist and intimacy health writer for Yourtango, Shape Magazine, Hello Giggles, Glamor, and Harper’s Bazaar.