Newlyweds feel an indescribable excitement when their beloved partner is by their side. It’s more than just sharing physical space.
It’s the excitement of creating an unbreakable bond and the idea of creating countless memories together.
But what happens when work takes a turn for the worse and your lover is suddenly posted alone, miles away from home? Oh really? You may be blessed with money and opportunities that you can’t pass up, but when you are suddenly thrown into a long-distance relationship, your love will face the ultimate test.
While one partner moves to another city or country and is busy working to earn a living, the other partner focuses on stabilizing the household, caring for the children and maintaining a daily routine. Imagine staying there.
They call it a long-distance marriage, but it is a roller coaster of emotions, and its success or failure depends on the mutual agreement of the two love birds.
Satmag interviewed three advocates of long-distance marriage who have lived apart from their spouses for years due to work commitments.
These people not only took on the challenge of separation, they found creative ways to keep the flame alive.
Want to know how they made it work? Get the scoop on how they turned the tables on distance and made their marriages not just survive, but thrive against all adversity. Sit down and let’s talk as I share my knowledge.
Yvonne Akiny Milletje, 28 years old (mother of two)
Akinyi never got the chance to enjoy the bliss that comes with newlywed life. Just two months after her marriage, Akinyi’s husband left for Saudi Arabia in search of greener pastures.
Waking up in a man’s arms every morning has become like a dream. This wasn’t what she wanted, she says.
“In a marriage, the desire to have your partner by your side is like a constant pain in your body. Our story was very unique. We met when my husband was unemployed and Soon after that, the doors of prosperity opened and I decided to let my husband pursue his dreams. I released him not because I wanted to, but because of my commitment to financial stability for our family and peace within the country. It was a show,” said the 28-year-old businessman.
Despite being physically separated due to her husband’s relocation to Saudi Arabia and then Abu Dhabi, their relationship remained strong.
During the three years my husband lived in Saudi Arabia, daily WhatsApp calls and video calls became a routine.
Akini lives in Kisumu with her two children and runs a thriving business while looking forward to annual reunions. I look forward to her 35 days of rare opportunities to reunite and rekindle our love.
“When he was in Saudi Arabia, he would come back every six months.”
These fleeting moments became the pulse of their existence, precious interludes in which the flame of connection was gently nurtured.
Upon Akinyi’s return home, the home transformed into a haven of togetherness where she and her husband staged numerous bonding moments with their children.
During these reunions, they paid focused attention to each other and figured out the intricate details of their lives. This ignited the embers of their collective passion.
“When he’s home, he gets in the kitchen with me. We cook together while chatting. He also takes us on trips and makes the most of every moment. He is not the kind of person who would put his friends before his family,” Akinyi added.
In July this year, after living in Saudi Arabia for three years, Akinyi’s husband moved again, this time to Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates.
This should have been easier, but the vacuum was almost obvious and Akinyi was once again forced to make sacrifices for the stability of her marriage.
Although she misses and misses him every day, she believes there is a greater purpose to their separation.
“He is scheduled to return home in mid-December. I can’t wait to meet him.”
Akinyi sells used clothes, toys, jewelry, and bicycles to keep you busy.
She says keeping lines of communication open is key to sustaining a long-distance relationship amid uncertainty.
Akinyi finds solace in the presence of her children, who she says keep her from feeling lonely.
The habit of having daily video calls with my husband is also a great comfort.
Their children have adapted well to their father’s frequent absences and, despite being miles apart, cherish daily video calls to find out what’s going on in each other’s lives. Masu.
“The children have gotten used to the reality that their father is not always physically present, but daily video calls are a highlight for them. They eagerly tell their father what happened each day. , show them school work they’ve finished, and tell stories that keep the family bond strong. And when you’re out with the kids, make video calls and share photos to keep your husband in the loop with the kids. I’ll take you on an everyday adventure.”
When it comes to intimacy and emotions, Akinyi describes her husband as an old-fashioned man who likes to have simple conversations at the end of the day.
Akinyi still remembers those days when she and her husband would go out, go shopping, and share stories late into the night. These are all precious memories for her now.
She said her children consistently follow rules and exhibit good behavior, whether their father is present or not.
“When he’s here, he doesn’t interfere with the program I set for the kids. But he’s always sharp as a man and points out the misdeeds of the kids.”
Akinyi admits that the silver lining of being without her husband is that she has developed a nice personal space.
“When he’s here, sometimes I miss the simplicity of my routine, the quiet moments and the freedom to be alone with my thoughts. Having my own space is something I’m used to. , his presence can feel like a change from the usual routine, where you can spend your time as you like and enjoy moments of quiet solitude.
Akinyi has some sage advice for those navigating similar waters. “Always communicate honestly and openly with each other. Doing so will build trust. Frequent and effective communication is the glue that holds you together despite distance.
“In the ever-changing seasons of life and the dynamic nature of marriage, ongoing communication is extremely important. Remember that distance does not determine the strength of a connection. Disagreements It’s that mutual respect and kindness that really forms a long-lasting relationship,” she concluded.
Benard Rono (father of three boys)
A logistics worker working in Nairobi County while his family is in Kericho.
Since 2020, Benard has been navigating the challenges of a long-distance marriage, yearning to be with his wife and three sons every night. However, this is not always possible.
“It was very difficult at first. My three sons are very young and being far away from my wife was a big challenge. But I learned to cope,” Benard told Satmag.
Despite the physical distance, Benard finds solace in daily video calls. He also travels to Kericho every Friday to see his family. His house is located on the main road, so he says it’s convenient for him to be able to go home whenever he wants.
Weekly travel can be very expensive and tedious. But for the sake of his family, Benard is always willing to make sacrifices.
“To cope with the current increase in fuel costs, I have some friends from the Nyanza region. We pool our resources and travel together in one car. I travel on Friday and return on Sunday, which makes it cheaper. However, I sometimes use matatus,” says Benard.
Their communication, which takes place mainly through WhatsApp video calls at different times of the day, acts as a lifeline that bridges the physical gap between Bernard and his wife.
In raising his children, Benard relies on his wife’s younger brother to guide and guide the boy.
“He understands them, so he decides to leave them to him. Since he is a man, he can lead the boys and teach them what is expected of them.”
Benard and his wife have celebrated their enduring bond since 2014 while carefully navigating the challenges of a demanding schedule and raising a young family.
Separation gave Benard a sense of responsibility and led him to plan and invest in his family’s future.
He likes that the house is well-maintained even when he’s not there, and that his children are growing up in a supportive environment.
Aware of the pressures of city life, Benard says she finds solace in the tranquility of home, where fresh air fosters health. He warns that understanding his partner is of utmost importance before embarking on a long-distance marriage.
“Love is not limited by physical proximity. Instead, it grows through devotion, communication, and shared dreams. That’s what strengthens the bond.”
To maintain the intimacy between them, the two talk on the phone until late at night and discuss everything.
“I do this after the kids are asleep and my wife is in the bedroom. Besides, just going home every week is enough to satisfy human needs.”
Michael Ozillo (father of four girls)
It’s been seven years since Michael Ojiro was forced to leave his family in Kisumu to find greener pastures in Nairobi.
“It was difficult at first. In fact, I had to go back to Kisumu every weekend. It became tiring and expensive, so I cut it down to just twice a month,” says Michael.
Although the two have been married for 15 years, they say that their relationship of trust keeps the fire burning in their marriage.
To bridge the distance, daily phone conversations have been a lifeline, but Michael has gone a step further by traveling to Kisumu every two weeks. When his work obligations dissuade him, his positions are reversed and his wife begins the journey to Nairobi.
“We’re rarely away from each other for too long. The longest we’ve ever been apart is three weeks. That’s a long time for a married couple, though. During the day we We monitor each other’s health through text messages, WhatsApp chats, and voice and video calls at night. We never go to bed without chatting.”
Michael remembers the initial difficulties his daughters faced trying to adjust to his absence, and says that over time and with a lot of communication, they were able to adapt. The daughters form a strong bond despite their separation, sometimes causing jealousy in their mother.
“I am a father of girls and you know how close girls are with their fathers. They are my best friends to the point that their mothers would be jealous. What I may have lost in the beginning She was born. In fact, my last baby was born when I wasn’t there. If it wasn’t for COVID-19, I wouldn’t have bonded with that girl. She was very distant to me. . He only greets me because others have done so. So for me, COVID-19 has been a blessing in disguise.”
Conflict, a natural aspect of any relationship, appears from time to time in Michael’s story. Yet, thanks to their love, no disagreement remains unresolved for more than two days.
“Even though we’re far apart, meeting someone feels like a first date. When you miss someone, it’s even more fun to be with them.”
Michael says that aside from their frequent phone calls, the two only go out to reminisce and spice up their love life.