Written by Jana Hocking, Daily Mail Australia
00:38 September 10, 2023, updated 00:44 September 10, 2023
- Yana dated a man who wanted all of her ‘hot’ friends’ Instagram thirst traps
- It made her jealous and dissatisfied and he was doing it blatantly in public
- Now men are creating fake profiles (finstas) to operate in secret.
- According to Yana, this is actually a better option
Earlier this year, I was dating a man known for having mysterious eyes. As always, his red flags were about his reputation and I should have avoided him in the first place.
But she likes a challenge, so **sigh**, so I got my heart and hips hooked. I kept telling myself I was okay, I didn’t like him that much. It’s just a fun diversion.
That was until I kept looking at him like in numerous girlfriends’ Instagram photos. Not just any girlfriend…my hot girlfriend. And it’s not just a photo…their thirst trap. With bikini shots, you can be sure he likes it.
It wasn’t just one or two people, it was everyone. And it was driving me crazy.
Annoyingly, I was trying to be the “cool girl” that didn’t bother me. I said nothing, but as time passed, it was like a knife kept digging deeper into my heart. *Sarah posted a bikini photo and within minutes her “OL mate” liked it.
I could feel my anger building and I really hated what I was becoming. I realized he was starting to get paranoid that he was about to try it on with one (or more) of his. I found myself getting annoyed every time they posted a gorgeous photo. That’s so unfair. My daughters should be allowed to show off until they can’t show off any more.
Now, in full disclosure, I am aware that I tend to get jealous easily and have been known to choose chaos over a healthy chat. But one day his behavior reached a point of no return and it’s safe to say I really went over the edge.
It all started on a night out where my girlfriend and I met him and his buddies. We had some cocktails beforehand and everyone was in good shape.
One of my friends is this incredibly attractive, outgoing girl who chats with everyone. And we love her. So when we met our current man, she welcomed him warmly and we all had a great time.
A week later, he and I got together for a fun date night. As we were warming up to the conversation, he casually said, “Oh, I messaged your friend on Instagram the other day.” Huh?
He said, “Well, she seemed really tipsy on her girls’ night out, so I wanted to see how she would get up the next day.” Can I repeat that again… Huh?
why? I said. We stayed with her and she was clearly being looked after.
I felt this chill rush over me. Because we girls know that when a guy slides into our DMs and asks how our night was, there’s usually a motive.
I needed some time to process this information, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom. Inside her toot, I logged into Instagram and visited her page. Sure enough, he started following her and liking every photo she posted last week.
Now, here’s the rub… Technically he wasn’t cheating, but, well, I think it’s safe to say he was acting lustful towards her.
As I mentioned earlier, I sometimes tend to choose the path of chaos over maturity. So I walked out, ordered a strong gin martini, and decided to drink it with him.
Oh, Lord, that was tough. He’s been in deep denial, which has only made me more frustrated, and I’m starting to feel like I’m acting paranoid and wondering if I’m overreacting. I did.
The next day I was a hungover mess. I immediately decided to make an appointment for her with a wonderfully tough French therapist and unpack with her.
She listened to my complaints, gave me a warm and reassuring smile and said: I think you had a strong reaction to something that had clearly been bubbling under the surface for quite some time. ”
She said in her many years of work as a therapist, nothing is more common in causing conflict between couples than social media. Additionally, she explained that she faces women every day who are experiencing dilemmas very similar to mine.
I said the thing that messed with my head the most was that he wasn’t technically cheating, but my gut told me he was doing something wrong. Ta.
Yes, all men have eyes and they will be attracted to other women, that’s human nature, she explained. But there’s a difference between simply staring at other women and publicly declaring that you’re staring on social media.
I left her office feeling relieved. I wasn’t being paranoid, and admittedly, it’s pretty dangerous that my guy kept liking my friend’s thirst trap.
Needless to say, the relationship didn’t work out (surprise), but I learned to trust my intuition more.
But just this week, men discovered a new way to do cheeky perverted acts while avoiding upsetting their partners.
Yes, it turns out that men are starting Finstas (fake Instagrams) to follow sexy women on Instagram without their partners knowing.
I realized this after a bunch of obviously fake Instagram accounts were following me and I couldn’t figure out why.
It wasn’t until I looked deeper into these accounts that I realized that they were all fake accounts set up by men who obviously didn’t want their partners to see that they were following other women.
Here is one example. As you can see, I don’t use a profile picture and I have very few followers. When I look at the people I follow, it seems like all of them are women.
This sneaky strategy allows men to avoid the whole “No, I don’t even follow her on Instagram” dilemma and still maintain a sassy peak at sexy women.
Now, here’s a little plot twist…I don’t hate it.
As you can see, at least this way the partner won’t succumb to the pain of watching their man starve for another woman…and no sane woman would ever want to watch a video from an obviously fake Instagram. I’m not going to respond to spooky DMs. So I don’t think there is any real harm.
Just like men watch porn when they’re not at home (sorry, ladies…it’s true.) I don’t think there’s anything wrong with them checking out sexy women on Instagram. I just haven’t made a public statement about my actual profile.
And yet, oh, how I miss the caveman days when the only drama we women faced was how to cook the wildebeest that the men brought back to the cave for dinner. Probably. It’s not just any sexy woman that our man is currently lusting after. Will she be able to go back to those days?