Dr. Amber Woodburn, LMFT, LP has overtaken Esther Perel to become the highest-paid marriage counselor in the country, with a reported net worth of over $100 million. Mr. Woodburn, who is based in Tampa, Florida, charges up to $25,000 for one of his 45-minute sessions. She is currently booked 18 months out.
“When I started practicing, I tried everything I was taught in school,” Woodburn said. “It’s like giving couples the tools to improve their communication skills, check in on each other’s feelings, practice active listening or jazz. But at the end of the day, what most couples want to know is… The only thing I realized was who was right and who was wrong.”
Like many entrepreneurs, Woodburn realized he needed to pivot to meet consumer demand.
When asked how she decides who’s right and who’s wrong, Woodburn smiled. “If there’s anything I’ve learned through my work, it’s that in 99 percent of troubled marriages, one partner is always more troubled,” she said.
Despite the high prices and long waiting lists, couples flock from all over the country to meet at Woodburn. Usually after more traditional counseling methods have been exhausted.
Alicia Paz of Tuscon, Arizona, a former Woodburn customer, had nothing but glowing reviews. She said: “I had to dip into my retirement savings and am now a single mother, but it was worth it just to see the look on Danielle’s face when Dr Woodburn told her that she had been wrong all these years.” there was.”
Paz’s ex-spouse could not be reached for comment.
Kevin Johnson of Reston, Virginia, currently 10th on Woodburn’s extensive waiting list, said he was “absolutely certain” that he was right. “I’m here.” “I can’t wait to throw it in his wife’s face,” he said, rubbing his hands together in mad glee. Johnson has no intention of divorcing his wife and he wants to keep throwing it in his wife’s face until death do them part.
“My partner and I have tried many traditional counseling methods,” said Laurie Greer of Needham, Massachusetts. “But all the ‘me’ statements in the world didn’t change the fact that she was pretty much wrong about everything. I probably should have broken up with her sooner, but I stuck it out for another year and a half while on Dr. Woodburn’s waiting list just for the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so.” . ”
Asked if she now avoids more traditional methods of counseling, Woodburn said, “More traditional methods can work wonders if both parties come to the table with humility, empathy, and an open mind. I think we can get it,” he said.
Unfortunately, according to Woodburn, “Most people have some kind of stink. They are selfish, insensitive, and narrow-minded. Even if you can’t change it, at least each I can guarantee that one person will leave the session satisfied.”
Mandy Bowman, a spokeswoman for the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), acknowledged that Dr. Woodburn’s methods are “a little unconventional.” However, she says, “Given the social factors that have led to the significant increase in the number of stinkers, this may be a direction that more marriage and family counselors need to explore in the future.”
Editor’s note: This article is a satire.
Kerala Taylor is an award-winning author and co-owner of a worker-owned marketing agency. Her weekly articles are dedicated to breaking down notions of what it means to be a mother, woman, worker, and wife. She writes on her Medium and recently launched her Substack publication. Mom, I was interrupted.
This article was originally published at: Moderate. Reprinted with permission from the author.