Dear Deirdre: My boyfriend doesn’t know if he wants to have sex again. And I’m disappointed.
We hadn’t been close for a year. It makes me paranoid and ruins our relationship.
I’m a 45 year old gay man. My boyfriend is 39 years old.
We have been in a relationship for 11 years. Sex has always been very important to both of us.
But a few years ago he started saying no to that.
I thought our love life might be boring, so I suggested new experiences, like using sex toys, but it made no difference.
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We had a frank discussion the other day and he admitted he wasn’t interested in sex anymore. In his words, I either accept it or move on.
But I can’t do either. I now wonder if he’s having sex elsewhere or just not interested in me anymore. I don’t want to break up with him because I love him.
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Deirdre says: Men may stop doing it for a variety of reasons, but stress and anxiety are often the culprits.
My support pack ‘Reviving A Man’s Sex Drive’ may help.
Talk to him again and honestly ask if there is something behind this.
If he’s willing to seek help, try sex or relationship counseling.
But if he refuses to compromise, you may have to make a difficult decision.
For confidential advice, please contact switchboard.lgbt on 0800 0119 100.
You may also find my support packs “Dealing With Jealousy” and “Looking After Your Relationship” helpful.