When Ashley and I got married 13 years ago, we were young and in love, but we were also ignorant (especially me). Along the way, so many have shared with us wise marriage advice and life experiences that have helped our family get through good times and hard times.
Over the years, I’ve collected some of the best tips others have shared (some of which I had to learn from my own mistakes).
Applying this list of 25 principles to your relationship can make life-changing changes in your marriage.
25 Best Marriage Advice Collected Over 13 Years
1. We choose to love each other.
Even in moments when we struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not an emotion.
2. Answer the phone whenever your husband or wife calls.
If possible, turn off your cell phone when you are with your spouse.
3. Prioritize spending time together.
Budget for a stable date night. Time is the “currency of the relationship,” so invest it consistently in your marriage.
4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage.
Stay away from people who might tempt you to hurt your character.
5. Let laughter be the soundtrack to your marriage.
Share moments of joy. And find reasons to laugh, even when it’s hard.
6. Remember that there are no “winners” and “losers” in any debate.
You are partners in everything, so win together or lose together. Please work together to find a solution.
7. Realize that strong marriages rarely have two strong people at the same time.
Husbands and wives usually take turns strengthening each other in moments when the other feels weak.
8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom.
Building a strong marriage takes more than sex, but without it it’s nearly impossible.
9. Remember that marriage is not 50/50. Divorce is 50/50.
Marriage should be 100/100. Instead of splitting everything in half, both partners give all they have.
10. Give each other the best.
It’s not just your leftovers after doing what’s best for others.
11. Learn from others, but don’t try to be them.
There is no need to compare your life or marriage with others. God’s plan for your life is spectacularly unique.
12. Don’t put your marriage on hold while raising children.
If you do that, you will end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.
13. Never keep secrets from your spouse.
This is some of the best marriage advice I can give you. Because secrets are the enemy of intimacy.
14. Never lie to each other.
Lies destroy trust, but trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.
15. When you make a mistake, admit it and humbly ask for forgiveness.
Know how to apologize and do it. You should immediately say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
16. If your husband or wife betrays your trust, forgive them immediately.
This promotes healing and creates an opportunity to rebuild trust. You should immediately say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move on.”
17. Be patient with each other.
Your spouse is always more important than your schedule.
18. Model the kind of marriage you want for your children.
Be the kind of spouse that makes your sons want to be good husbands and your daughters want to be good wives.
19. Be your spouse’s biggest fan, not your spouse’s biggest critic.
Be the one wiping their tears, not the one shedding their tears.
20. Do not speak ill of your spouse to others or spit it out online.
Protect your spouse anytime, anywhere.
21. Always wear your wedding ring.
It reminds you that you are always connected to your spouse and reminds the rest of the world that you are off limits.
22. Connect with your community of faith.
a good church or faith community of any religion can make a big difference in your marriage and family.
23. Pray together.
Any marriage is stronger with God in the middle.
24. Instead of being mean, don’t say anything.
Always say nothing when you have to choose between saying nothing or saying mean things to your spouse. No, really every time. Nothing will start even if you are mean.
25. Don’t think of divorce as an option.
Remember, a “perfect marriage” is two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
A version of this article was first published on stronger marriage.
Dave Willis Pastor, author, podcaster, and one of America’s most popular bloggers with over 100 million page views. He and his wife Ashley are MarriageToday speakers and co-authors of multiple marriage-based books, events and resources.