By Nova M. Bahamonti, Dailymail.Com
16:44 08 January 2024, 16:51 08 January 2024 Updated
A woman has revealed how “dirty and disgusting” she felt when she was diagnosed with herpes at just 19 years old, but is now speaking out to break down the stigma.
Lana Rindge, from Vancouver, Washington, was raised by conservative Christian parents who didn’t want her to learn about sex.
She hid her sexually transmitted infection diagnosis for nearly 10 years, fearing the stigma she might receive from family and friends.
But the now 28-year-old recently decided to move on. freed from secrets By openly discussing her herpes diagnosis and subsequent health journey on social media.
Speaking about her diagnosis, Lana said: “I woke up one morning and had a rash on my genitals. My first outbreak was pretty bad because I had multiple sores.”
Lana admitted that deep down she knew what the pain was, but hoped she was wrong and made an appointment to see a doctor.
However, the same day, it was discovered that he had contracted herpes.
“I got herpes from a man I trusted. I asked him if he had ever been tested for sexually transmitted diseases and he said he had, but he never confirmed the test results. There was no.
“The moment I got the herpes diagnosis was shocking. Lana was there before I got herpes, and there was Lana after I got it.
“It felt like my whole world stopped. I knew things would never be the same again.”
Growing up in a conservative Christian household with minimal sex education, Lana had a very limited understanding of sexual safety.
“I was taken out of sex education at school because my parents didn’t want me to learn about sex. When I was in my late teens, I never even thought about using contraceptives.
For eight long years, Lana kept her diagnosis hidden from everyone, sharing this burden only with her sister and intimate partner.
“I carried immense shame. It made me feel dirty, disgusting, and undesirable.
“The revelations were the scariest thing in the world for me.
“My self-esteem suffered and I started dating lower-level men who I believed would accept me, rather than pursue relationships that were truly in line with my values.”
Lana’s life was further complicated by navigating her relationship with herpes.
The revelations were fraught with anxiety, and sometimes even led to fear ending the relationship before it progressed to the sexual stage.
“There were times when I was too scared to even continue a relationship with someone.
“But over time, I found that as I gained more confidence in myself, I was able to approach conversations differently.
“I have reached the point where I can no longer expect my new lover to accept me.
“I openly tell people I have herpes before a relationship progresses. It’s up to them to leave or stay.”
Fortunately, Lana’s episodes have become less frequent over the past few years, and some have even stopped completely, but she still takes medication when meeting new partners as an “additional precaution.”
More than eight years after her diagnosis, Lana not only doesn’t let herpes affect how she feels about herself, but she also feels that herpes doesn’t affect how she feels about others battling sexually transmitted infections. We are dedicated to helping people know they are not alone.
“I am on an intensive healing journey and examining all the things in my life that bring me shame.
“I started a podcast (Your Inner Spark) earlier this year where I talk about things I’ve been through, including my past with sexual assault and eating disorders.
“I found that when I used my voice and talked about these things publicly, I felt less shame about them.
“But herpes was like a whole other level of shame. And I didn’t think I could talk about that topic openly.”
Lana continued: “My decision changed when I learned that two of my closest friends’ girlfriends were also HSV positive. It broke my heart that I had never felt safe enough to tell each other. ”
“If there are two people in my inner circle who are suffering the same way, how many others?”
“At the end of October, I released a podcast episode basically telling the whole world that I had herpes and I was done being ashamed of it.
“I wanted to start a conversation about it. I wanted other people to know that it doesn’t make them any less valuable.
“I wanted others to know that there’s no need to be ashamed. In doing so, I could also take back my power over this virus.”
Lana’s true journey led her to TikTok, where she openly talked about herpes, resulting in an influx of messages from others with the same diagnosis.
Many admitted they were too scared or embarrassed to speak openly about their experiences.
“This has really shown us how much education and support we need because it’s really affecting a lot of us.
“My goal is to continue these conversations and create a supportive community where people living with herpes can find understanding, acceptance, and a sense of belonging.”