sex and relationships
September 4, 2023 | 8:02 PM
A New Zealand woman has found love and happiness despite living with 93 alter egos.
Dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder, is a condition in which an individual possesses multiple “alters” with unique ages, genders, and life experiences.
For 31-year-old Amber Lodge, these changes range from young children who love to draw to adults who enjoy dining out.
Some people are outspoken and outspoken, while others are shy and reserved.
Mr. Lodge was diagnosed with DID five years ago. At that point, she was already experiencing relationship complications, with her partner struggling to understand her rapidly changing identity, leading to her short-lived romances.
“Before we were diagnosed with DID, it was difficult and confusing for the people we were dating because they didn’t understand why we change so much and why we become different people every time.” Lodge told Caters News.refer to themselves as “we” to describe their respective personalities.
But Lodge’s story took a surprising turn when she met 26-year-old Andrea online.
Their connection was instant and their love blossomed into marriage.
“We had given up on dating for a while until luckily we met Andrea, because she was already following us online and DID understand,” Lodge explained. “We didn’t have to tell her about it. She just figured it out, so it was easy.”
Andrea not only embraces the lodge’s alter egos, she values the opportunity to connect with each one’s unique personality.
She said it was exciting to date different individuals and learn about their different tastes and interests.
Lodge eccentrics can appear five to eight times a day, resulting in unpredictable changes in their personalities.
On any given night, Andrea could fall asleep next to the altar and wake up the next day as a completely different persona.
“When a child experiences extreme trauma in early life, those parts don’t integrate and develop their own selves, creating amnesic walls between them,” Lodge says.
“That’s the alter. It then continues into adulthood and can change in age, gender, life experiences, and personality.”
To help navigate this complex movement, Andrea maintains a folder detailing the settings for each change.
She can usually tell which alters are present by their voice and communication style, but if in doubt, just ask.
“It’s even harder to remember things like who likes which flowers, birthdays, and different date ideas you can plan,” Andrea said.
“Or sometimes they don’t know what I’m saying because they weren’t out when something happened.”
Lodges have their own signals, which serve as signals to sense the space before change occurs and to anticipate the emergence of a new personality.
She reflected on the challenges before her DID diagnosis, when her changing identity confused her partner and strained her relationships.
She recalled being reluctant to disclose her condition due to fear of being judged and lack of understanding.
“Relationships in general, even with friends, are difficult,” she revealed. “We try to be as trustworthy as possible, but if another alter comes out after we’ve made a plan and they don’t want to read it or don’t want to associate with that person, It just doesn’t show up.”
Lodge’s adult alter ego is in a romantic relationship with Andrea, but the less frequently occurring alter ego maintains a friendship with her, so the situation is less complicated.
Some of the Lodge’s alter egos include children, so Andrea was initially worried about how to interact with them, but she quickly realized that when there are younger alter egos, it’s clearer. I noticed that.
She emphasizes that it’s similar to spending time with a child, given the childlike behavior exhibited by her younger alter ego.
“For example, when I go out with my 4- or 5-year-old alter ego, Chloe, it really feels like I’m hanging out with a 4- or 5-year-old, even though she doesn’t look like it,” Andrea said.
“But she always presents herself as a girl, so it’s not as difficult as people think.”
Andrea said her proposal to Lodge was an easy and natural conversation, and even planned a custom proposal for her alter ego, complete with white roses and balloons.
Andrea said that even though she and Lodge are already married, they are planning to propose at some renovations.
Meanwhile, Lodge hopes that by sharing her story, DID will be better understood.
“I hope people understand a little bit more about DID and realize it’s not as complicated as they think it is,” she said.
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