We all would like to think we’ll find our Prince Charming and live happily ever after, but the reality may not be the case. Our wedding day may not be the end of the story, and the story of our relationship may not be a happy one.
Before you take the plunge, read the lessons of women who got married but realized they shouldn’t.
6 women reveal the exact moment they knew their marriage was a mistake
1. I couldn’t understand him when he said that.
“I got married very young and got engaged at 19, but the marriage was going pretty well until about five years ago.
My husband experienced a family tragedy and started freaking out. He was secretly smoking, and when I found him and asked him why he didn’t tell me, he said, “Because you didn’t listen.” I don’t know what to ask very specific things like, “Are you hiding from me and smoking out the bathroom window?” I felt weird enough, but then he also said I didn’t understand him.
The only person who understood him was his best friend since seventh grade, he said, and they kept in touch maybe once every three years.
That was the first episode I had doubts about, but fast forward to year 8 and we hadn’t had sex in 3 and a half years. When I told him I couldn’t take it anymore, I told him that I had a “non-conformist” approach to sex because I watch romantic shows like The Office and think that’s how real life is supposed to be. He said he had “realistic expectations.”
We have been divorced for three years. ”
2. When he makes excuses for himself.
“The moment I realized that my marriage was a mistake was when my ex-boyfriend excused his “online affair” with a woman in New York by saying “we’ve known each other longer than I have.”
The day after I returned home from the hospital after giving birth to my first son via emergency C-section, he asked me to go change the oil in his car while he was playing on his PlayStation.
Or my favorite. When our oldest son was less than 3 months old, he decided to quit his job in Greenwich, CT and use our savings to become the “King of the Hamptons’ Lawn.” Just one week into his new career, he realized he was no good at manual labor and sold his only customer, Anderson’s $3,000 sliding glass window, to a weed whacker. I accidentally broke the usage.
Oh, the men we marry when we are young and foolish. ”
3. After all, he was still attached to his ex.
“Two days after the wedding, my beloved husband was looking through his ex-fiancée’s email account. And I walked in.”
4. When I realized, I didn’t feel anything for him.
“There were many strikes against my marriage and it was clear to outsiders that it would not work. I was very young when we got married, only 18 years old (he was 24 years old and He was secretly cheating on me, but then he came out publicly saying he had another girlfriend and was trying to figure things out, so he kept things between me and his current girlfriend. I was going back and forth.
But none of that made me believe that our marriage was a mistake. When I finally gave up and filed for divorce, I didn’t realize it was a mistake. I didn’t realize this until several years later.
Our group was talking and the topic of ex-lovers came up. I told her that I had no hatred, disgust, anger, love, or any other feelings towards her ex-husband. I felt the same way he felt about a stranger he met on the street. I wish him luck in life.
The only thing that made me feel anything was for the kids and the fact that he was never involved in their lives. Then I finally realized that I married him for all the wrong reasons.
If I fell in love with him so much that I couldn’t imagine a future without him and married him, I would definitely have some regrets even after I moved on. If I ever get married again, I want to be calm and mature enough to know that this time I’m getting married for the right reasons. ”
5. When you needed serious help and you refused it.
“I came home from my honeymoon and couldn’t find him anywhere. I looked into his office and found him swinging in a fetal position under the desk.
‘Why would you do that? ‘
“I’m supposed to be on medication.”
“How long has it been since you drank?”
“About 5 years…”
6. When everything feels wrong.
“Planning a wedding can be stressful, but it should also be a fun time. In the process, I realized (or rather, I realized) Also) It was a bad idea to get married.
The invitation felt contrived and forced. After finalizing the design, the text we chose felt…wrong.
There was no truth behind the beautiful words. Coming up with our first dance song was pretty much the same. While the lyrics to every song were touching and romantic, nothing really felt right. Every song I liked made me feel like a giant fraud, as if I was acting without any emotion to back it up.
When a person’s brain is not engrossed in something, it has to reconsider the choices being made. ”
Ally Walansky I’m a New York-based lifestyle writer who focuses on health, wellness, and relationships. Her work has appeared in dozens of digital and print publications.