Written by Makaela McKenzie
Long distance relationships can be difficult, but they are not inherently doomed.
“Long distance relationship [can be] Healthy and stable, like a relationship where the partners live nearby. ” dana weiserDr. A., who is an associate professor of human development and family studies at Texas Tech University, says: self. “Different types of relationships just bring different challenges and different strengths.”
Your long-distance relationship won’t work without these 10 little things.
1. Visit the app store
There are many apps that can help you feel emotionally close, no matter how far away you are.
coupleA free app available for iOS and Android lets you both create a social network and post updates from your day. You can also do a “thumb kiss” the moment you both touch the same part of your phone.
after that, Heitelavailable for free on iOS and Android, allows you to leave adorable voice messages for each other and export them to your computer for safekeeping.
and whileis also free on iOS and Android and is like a digital scrapbook where you can save your memories.
These three just scratch the surface.
2. Resist the urge to lock yourself together during your visit.
While it’s very tempting to want to spend your visit with just each other, try to make time to spend with other people as well.
“Sharing social networks strengthens a couple’s commitment,” says Weiser. Next time your crew is in town, make it a priority to sneak out of the bedroom and go for drinks with them.
Of course, we need weekends just the two of us.
3. Upgrade your love life digitally
You can take your love life to the next level thanks to gadgets designed with long distance relationships in mind.
Also, avoid getting into a rut of only being intimate when your partner is around. “Having an intimate relationship with yourself” [can] Please take care of that too.” ian carnerPh.D., LMFT says self.
4. Plan a nice surprise
“An unexpected act like sending flowers or a gift or a surprise visit can go a long way in assuring your partner of the love and devotion necessary to sustain a relationship, especially an LDR.” franklin portersays a New York City therapist. self.
5. Send messages carefully
The ability to send messages at any time of the day can be very helpful for couples who are keeping their distance. But choose your text conversations carefully.
“Communicating via text can lead to misunderstandings, especially if your partner is away for an extended period of time,” says Porter. “Such statements should be avoided when discussing potential issues.” If you have something serious to talk about, answer the phone.
6. Always pay attention when interacting
“There are many things that can distract you from hearing a good story, such as the temptation to check email or scan social media while on the phone.” andy merollaThe doctor says: self. “These seemingly small distractions can become significant over time because they make the conversation less enjoyable.”
When you miss your partner, not receiving a call can make you feel worse than not receiving a call at all.
7. Create shared routines
I promise to watch it if my time zone allows. game of thrones together every week. You can also Skype during episodes, so it feels like you’re watching in the same room. If timing doesn’t work for you, try starting a long-distance book club, making the same recipes for dinner, or listening to the same podcasts on your commute.
“These shared experiences can give you something to talk about in addition to reflecting on each other’s days,” Merola says.
8. Get intimate on the phone
There are obvious reasons. Because it’s hot. However, there is also a deeper appeal that makes you want to try it. That means if you only have a voice, you have to be vocal about what interests you. This kind of honest communication can do a world of good in your intimate life, says Weiser.
9. Set clear expectations and boundaries
This is important in any relationship, but especially when you factor distance into the equation. There’s a fine line between wanting to be involved in your partner’s life and being controlled.
“If your partner is setting rules that interfere with your social life, that’s an unreasonable and annoying request,” says Weiser. Make sure you’re both on the same page about what’s okay and what’s not, and if something makes you uncomfortable, speak up.
10. Appreciate the small things
Sometimes you just want to hold your partner’s hand. You’ll forget about intimacy and kill for a good hug. “Physical activity can be a different level of arousal because you don’t have regular access to your partner when you can be intimate,” says Weiser.
One way to make sure you don’t forget the small happy moments is to write them down after your visit is over. Until you two move to the same city, you’ll be making a physical list of why the relationship is worth it.
makaela mackenzie Journalist, freelance writer, editor.she is the author of Money, power, respect: How women in sports are shaping the future of feminism. Her work has appeared in publications such as Washington Post, Fortune, Glamour, Elle, SELF, NBC, Bustle, Claire, Allure, Women’s Health, and Forbes.
This article was originally published at: self. Reprinted with permission from the author.